I encountered an individual today that I have known for many decades. We've essentially lived parallel lives, but we've never been friends. Why?
If you were to look at our lives from the outside, you would think that we are essentially the same. Our looks, lifestyles, families, educations, jobs, and interests are very similar, and we've had opportunity to befriend each other, but it just never worked out.
Why?
As I thought about it, I realized that while our core missions in life are similar, the details of values and pursuits differ in ways that stand in the way of friendship. What she deems most valuable and what I deem most valuable differ. Plus our mindsets differ too--while I tend to be on the let's explore life's many paths side of things, she's more apt to follow well-worn paths in life.
Do our differences matter?
Not really. In some cases, I've had to stand up to this person and what I feel is her too narrow mindset when it comes to people's value, outlook, and potential, and in some ways she has stood up to me as she worked to maintain the a status quo related to tradition and perhaps, class. Often, her behavior plays the role of devil's advocate for me--she exemplifies what I need to consider as I make my next moves, and perhaps, I do the same for her.
It's interesting to think about the people in your life who live parallel lives to you as compared to those whose lives intersect with your life continuously. For example, there are others in my life that I'm continually drawn to intersect with in countless ways--I feel comfortable in their company, look forward to their conversation, share their quests and questions of life, and enjoy common pasttimes.
That is the way of life.