Sometimes your long term vision and dreams for life require reworking. What you thought was a good path turns out to be a not-so-good path. As I study my family history, I can see how people past made decisions to change their directions at single points in time. Clearly a look past shows why those people may have altered their plans. Perhaps it was the death or illness of a loved one, a lost job, a new quest, a door closed, or a passion ignited, but whatever the reason, there were moments of change--moments when they abandoned or revised one dream and replaced it with another.
That happened to me recently. And now it's time to revise the vision/dream I've had for my life in some ways. Trying to make the old vision work became similar to knocking my head against the wall--it simply wasn't working because the vision did not take into account some new realities, somewhat harsh realities. So now, it's time to rework the dream, the vision, the plans for the days ahead.
What will that revision include?
Focus on family
With a growing, changing family, I want to focus more on my immediate family culture, events, and good times. All around me, I am surrounded by wonderful families. I see them supporting each other daily with happiness and care. I've been committed to that, and I want to commit to that more in the days ahead.
Focus on health
This is not a new focus, but the new part is to not let others' distanced from your dreams and visions obstruct your own health and safety. Sometimes people can take advantage of you, and your will to do what is right and good for others may make you a ready victim for their greed or mistreatment. Their impact on you may not be purposeful, but it may be harmful. It's important that you don't allow others to take advantage of you in ways that obstruct your good health and living. I remember way back when an individual's words and treatment of me truly did obstruct the best of who I could be and do--eventually I was able to free myself from that treatment. It's essential that we live lives that are healthy and positive, and we must work to eliminate forces that obstruct that.
Focus on joy
Too often we can become mired in the challenges of life and forget to look for, create, or appreciate the joy. There is joy embedded in every situation of life, and if we look for that, we will be much happier and those around us will be happier too.
Find your people
There are people for all of us--people who share our dreams, quest, interests, and inspiration--we all need to seek out those people and appreciate who they are in our lives and what they do with us and for us. Those people are great gifts to us and we can't forget that.
Find your place in the complexity
As I wrote about recently, none of us can do all or be all in complex situations. Instead, we must find our place in the complexity and do what we can. To place boundaries on our good work helps us to do what we can without becoming overwhelmed.
The "Do Not Go There" List
Think of the dangerous or troubling behaviors you may be tempted to do in tough situations. Make a list of those behaviors. For example, I may say things I wish I didn't say or use a tone I wished I didn't use. Make a list of those behaviors as well as a list of positive substitutes. For example when challenged recently, I immediately wanted to shout back with words I would regret, but instead throughout the conversation, I coached myself saying, to say what I want to say will ruin what I want for the long run so I'll just listen and not say those words. That worked that time, but at another time, I did blurt out the words I wished I did not say. By making a "do not go there" list as well as more promising, substitute behaviors you will better move toward the vision you have rather than creating time-consuming, negative obstructions.
Life presents tough situations to us often, and when we give these situations the thought and care they deserve we can retain the good living we hope for ourselves and others. Onward.