For the past few weeks we've been putting a large number of supports in place for a loved one. The work has been challenging since this terrain in new to all of us. Today, however, for a moment, it feels like we have a plan. It is not a perfect plan, but it is good--there are people there to help most, if not all, days, and the goods we needed for our loved one's support are readily available. As one family member said, this work will continue to change in the days ahead. There isn't a clear path for support, but we know a lot more now and this feels good.
As I noted in an earlier post, setting the stage for good care and good work is essential in any situation. If you have what you need and a good pattern of care in place, you create a situation where there's potential to find the joy and engagin in some meaningful and beneficial living.
Throughout our efforts, I've learned a lot about myself and the team of caregivers. I've learned about what each of us needs and what we can provide in this situation and others. For each of us it is dfferent. Some need more communication than others and some want a plan and others want greater spontaneity. The needs and desires of the entire caregiver team differ and that's okay as it doesn't have to be one way or another. There's room for variety here.
This is a good lesson for life as there's room for variety amongst all of us--there's no one way to live life. We all desire somewhat different paths and ways of being, and that's okay.
What I believe is essential common ground amongst the diversity are the following actions:
- polite, respectful, truthful language
- thoughtful communication
- best efforts
- willingness to ask questions and seek help when you don't understand
- empathy and compassion for each other
- gratitude and grace
- collaboration as needed and able
- as much love as possible