I hate when big problems are revealed after years of neglect. For example, I hate when a person's bad behavior comes out after years of ignoring their behavior. When people don't have the courage to speak up when problems are small, those problems simply become bigger and bigger and bigger, and when those problems become bigger and bigger and bigger, more and more people are hurt. The lesson here is to keep an eye on each other, and when people err in small ways, speak up and coach them forward--don't let them stay mired in ugly, misguided behavior.
A loved one has a friend whose behavior has been somewhat suspect in a single arena. My loved one told me he was worried about this. I told him that he had to speak up and caution his friend about his actions even if it meant that it would strain the relationship. I said that he could save his life and good living by speaking up now before any real harm is done.
In my life, on a few occassions, good people did have the courage to guide me when I was misguided. Rather than judge or punish me for poor words, bad attitudes, or less than positive acts, they confronted me about my actions, educated me, and helped me to change my ways. I am so grateful for these good mentors in my life. In each situation, my errors were not intentional, but instead based on a lack of education or training in the area where I erred. Honestly, I didn't know better, and rather than continue down that path, those great people led me to better ways.
Every now and then, you do have to think about your life and the life of those around you, and you do have to make sure that you or those you love are not getting involved in practices that hurt or harm people. None of us will live without error, but all of us can help each other to avoid the grave pitfalls of life that truly stand in the way of good living. That's our responsibility as humans.