Yesterday I had a BAD day. There was good reason for that kind of day. I read a zillion articles related to the problem at hand, and the advice I got was bascially to sit in the struggle, let it happen. I did that. Other advice said to get some extra sleep, do something nice for yourself, recognize that struggle is a part of life, and seek the lesson in the struggle.
Everytime I have a bad day, my first instinct is to fight it rather than give into it. I have to consciously coach myself to give into the struggle, and when I do I am better for it.
There are other aspects of life that are good for me and others, but not natural. For example, the other day as I participated in a task that was dull for me, but positive for a family member. I had to coach myself to be patient, engaged, and positive. That wasn't about me, but about what the other person needed. To do this required explicit self-coaching.
Similarly with regard to embedded prejudice, judgement, and old-time attitudes that arise in particular situations, I have to self-coach myself to recognize those prejudices were embedded in me at an early age, and to rid my mind and actions of those prejudices takes explicit self-coaching and self-talk. The same is true for other long-held habits that have been proven to be unhealthy, wrong, and harmful to me and others. We have to repeatedly teach ourselves new attitudes and ways of living that are better, and the longer we held on to old ways that have been proven wrong and harmful, the more repetition it takes to undo those habits.
So, in summary, as individuals we are always evolving, and to evolve in ways that are positive for yourself and others is a good direction to move, but sometimes that evolution takes explicit self coaching and study. Onward.