There is a lot of talk about women leaving the workforce due to lack of childcare. While I know this is an issue, and an important issue, the effects of motherhood are far greater than that related to childcare and work. For the most part, motherhood in society, has been neglected, and this is a big problem for our entire society. What can we do?
The impact of motherhood
When I was a child, most of the moms were home. Not only did they take care of their children, but they were taking care of the entire community via child care, elder care, volunteering at school and church, and regularly monitoring what was happening in the community by being present. Mothers were the cornerstone of the community in multiple ways.
When the big push came for women to go to work, few to none recognized the significant work women were already doing to keep communities strong, dynamic, loving, and vibrant. So when lots of women went back to work, there were few to none left to care for the communities. This created a great cavity in community life, and many problems began to arise in communities that were not there before. In many communities, no one was left to keep watch over the neighborhood, care for the children, elderly, and sick, and run the volunteer organizations.
Child raising as an afterthought
As many have noted, the women who lead the women's movement, in part, were privileged. They could see a need for women to be treated equally to men--they smarted from the prejudices they faced in school, family, and community. But many of those women had significant financial and human support for childcare, housework, caring for the sick and elderly, and other needed chores. This may have blinded them to the reality related to the lives of everyday women who were taking care of and leading their communities in countless ways. And, many of these women's movement leaders, may have thought of childcare as an afterthought and not a main focus. Yet for many women, childcare was their prime focus, a focus they excelled at leading to happy childhoods for many children.
What is the right role for women today? What do women really want to do?
Too many speak for women, and at this juncture as I hear many projecting about what women want, I wonder what do women really want when it comes to government, support, work, and family responsibilities? I know there will not be a one-size-fits-all answer to this, but we may cull some trends if we really reach out and talk to women about this.
For me, looking back at a long career as a teacher and a mom at the same time, I wish I had more just work conditions, fair pay, and significant time to care for and be with my family. I really loved teaching and I loved being a mom--but too often, I felt unduly stretched by the two roles, and this stretch was due to unreasonable job expectations, relatively low pay related to the work I did and education I had, and the great desire to do both jobs well.
Too many women are stretched too thin and that's one reason why women, in many cases, are stressed out, underpaid, and not moving into more leadership roles in society. By oppressing women in multiple ways in society, we are losing their important voices.
What is the right balance?
I think we will find the right balance in giving women more autonomy related to the supports available. For example, rather than providing greater support for childcare, why not pay every family $20,000 for up to two children from ages 0-3 so that those women can choose what they want to do--they can choose to stay home, work part time, share work/parenting responsibilities with their partner, or afford childcare and work full time? Then, I do think it makes sense to start public school at age three as we know that exemplary preschool education is very important when it comes to a good education for every child.
I think that would be a good investment into women's choices and good living for children.
Motherhood?
For too long, too many have taken motherhood for granted in society. We need to think deeply about this problem, and renew our commitment to mothers of all ages using the broadest definition of motherhood as those who nurture and care for children in their homes.
Society, in too many ways, have made corporations and industry the gods of society--when we look at the way we prop up industry and corporations with all kinds of financial hand-outs and supportive laws and protocols, it is clear that these wealthy organizations and their leaders are taking the lion's share of society's resources. It is time for change, and I for one want to see mothers of all ages and walks of life gain greater power, respect, and support in our country. Do you agree?