Has anyone ever been mean to you, or have you been mean to anyone else? It is a word not used too often by adults, but a word used often by children.
I am thinking back to times when my actions could have been described as mean. In every case, my intention was not to be mean, but instead to send a message that I felt deeply, so deeply that my message sending could have been construed as mean. Fortunately there were not too many times like that, and in each case I felt remorse afterwards. There are far better ways to send messages when you are angry, frustrated, confused, or hurt than to do that in what will be felt as a mean response.
What happens when people are mean to you? Again, in the adult world offensive behavior is usually described with more specific terms than simply mean, but from time to time you may encounter a mean response. What do you do?
As for me, I try to get underneath it to figure out where the meanness is coming from. If I feel safe enough, I will probably even approach the person to ask why they've responded so harshly. Typically with people I feel safe with, the response is due to a misunderstanding or an error I've made. With regard to people who are unapproachable, that's a lot more difficult to figure out, and generally in those cases, I keep my distance unless there is real danger or threats involved. In those cases, I seek support.
It's hard to shrug off mean behavior because I know the long term ramifications it can have on people and relationships. But, meanness happens, and we have to do our best to not be part of problem and to deal with it effectively.