One problem of privilege I am dealing with right now is whether to say or go when it comes to our family home of thirty years. I say this is a problem of privilege because I recognize how fortunate we have been to have a good home and to be here for thirty years.
We bought this home when a problem with an apartment with lead paint and its potential effect on our newborn son led us to find a new place to live. Most of our friends had homes at that time, and I wanted a home too. We only had $5,000 in the bank, but I read a book about buying a home and we set off to find a best possible home near the school where I taught. I drove up and down the streets nearby to look for a good home. We traveled the streets with a good realtor too. At last, I followed the books advice and chose the worst house in a good neighborhood where the owners were anxious to sell. It wasn't my dream home in terms of architectural style, but it was much more house than we expected to buy. Our offer was accepted and we moved in with our new baby. We've been here ever since.
This house holds lots of memories including the birth of two sons, countless family celebrations, lots of outdoor play, garden creation, and exploration. It hasn't been a perfect house. The deck is too high from the yard always presenting some potential dangers for young and old who have trouble with stairs. The yard-house connection is awkward, and we've never updated the shoddy electricity connections. Yet, this house has a lot of great details too. The house has great light and is nestled at the top of a small hill in a cul-de-sac with a yard that backs up to a wild and scenic river area. There is nature everywhere. Our modest neighborhood attracts amazingly bood people who live kind, positive lives too. And the spaces are simple and welcoming.
So, now at this juncture, like many empty nesters, we wonder if we should stay or if we should go? If we leave, we'll give up good neighbors, a beautiful natural setting, and a home full of memories, but we'll gain an exciting new chapter in a different kind of setting that may become a welcoming spot for visiting children, grandchildren, and other relatives. A move may mean greater walkability too and living in a space with enjoyable amenities such as mountains, lakes, or the ocean. Obviously, the fact that we're not making a decision means we are not ready for that decision yet. In time, the right choice will come, and for now we'll enjoy the place we're in. Onward.