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Finding yourself

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Sometimes when a loved one distances themself it is because they need that space to find out who they are and how they want to live. Give them the space they need.

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Papa

Proud Papa and many of his grandchildren, 1961. My grandfather, Papa, was a jolly man. I've been channeling him a lot lately as I spend time with my 90+ dad. Together we traverse the roads of Worcester County and as we drive and hike, my dad tells me story after story about his life. Many of those stories involve his dad, my Papa. Papa's family with Laddie Papa was born on December 28, 1899 in Worcester, Massachusetts. His Polish mom, Petronella, was a domestic for the wealthy Rice family in Worcester and his dad, Walenty (Valentine), was a laborer for a local company. Petronella, both due to her Polish/Lithuianian heritage and the Rice family's respect for education, was determined that her children would be well educated. Peter went to Worcester's North High School and then became a Postman for The United States Postal Service. His brothers had good jobs with the telephone company, a shipping organization, and the Merchant Marines while his sister became a nun who e...

Actions trump words

It's what you do, not what you say that matters most. In life, this message is stated and shown in multiple ways. Sometimes, however, we can find ourselves relying on words more than actions. That's when we have to reassess where we are spending our time and what we are doing. Do our actions live up to our words? If not, your words become empty and you challenge your relationships and reputation too. It is critical that your words represent your actions and values. So, what do you value? What do you do? Do those words and actions match up? Begin with values. If you value positive relationships, how do your actions illustrate that? Do you value specific political actions? If so, how do you support those actions with your choices and behavior? What do you value related to the environment? How do your actions support that? When our words and actions match up, I believe we live a better life, and that's why this is a good point of reflection now and then.

What do you need, want and desire?

"Your children are not your children. " - Kahlil Gibran What do you need, want and desire? That's the question I ask my children usually when we're in the car to find out where they're at and how I can support them. Their answers are always interesting. The needs are usually simple things such as a playdate with a friend, a trip to a local event/activity, food, space and time. The wants are a bit bigger -- such as involvement in a sports league, a chance to visit a local city or park, help with a project or challenge and possibly a new video game or tech toy. Then, the desires are the deepest -- it's what they want of life-- who they want to be. I tell them that I'm asking that question because I want to support them in every way I can to help them become happy, good people. I tell them that happiness usually comes from finding what makes you "tick." Discovering the work, lifestyle, people and places that make you fully you. Then...

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