As I navigate new terrain in life and seek instruction about this navigation, the advice to set boundaries keeps popping up. By setting boundaries we protect ourselves from abuse and overuse. Typically I like to go to the mountaintop for people I love and endeavors I believe in, but to exert that kind of energy time and again can deplete one's soul and good will. You've got to find the balance, and setting boundaries is one way to do that.
What kinds of boundaries will I set?
Kind words
I will not tolerate rude and unkind words, phrases, and treatment. I'm open to critique, conversation, and debate, but I'm not open to ridicule, harm, and hurt via words. Therefore if people cross the line with their language, I will ask them not to use those words and phrases with me as that kind of language is hurtful and energy-zapping.
No stonewalling
Stonewalling is a painful, negative action that hurts others. I do not want to stonewall and I will not accept stonewalling towards me. If someone refuses to communicate when asked a question time and again, I will have to stop communicating with that person for the most part. I cannot endure the hurt that stonewalling brings to life.
Need for lead time
Due to the complex lives most of us lead, we do need lead time for most requests. Obviously there will be some requests that are naturally last minute, but in general, it is courteous to give people time to respond and help out when needed.
Teamwork
I honor those who work like good members of a team, and I look forward to the good work we can do together. In so many aspects of life, teamwork is essential, and for those unwilling to collaborate, there will be fewer spots open on the team roster.
Personal health
Often in life, some are relegated to have the time and space they need for personal health, and others, due to a number of circumstances, traditions, and mindsets, are not given the space and time they need for personal health. We all deserve to be personally healthy, and I'll work to retain that space for myself and others rather than sacrifice that.