I woke up with a school dream. Yes, retired teachers still get school dreams. The teachers were at a first day meeting, and the principal who happend to be a former colleague of mine asked us to tell about a time that we failed. The first respondent didn't take the questions seriously and made a joke, but I started to think about failure and knew what this kind, former colleague was getting at--to understand our own failures is to be far more sensitive and supportive of our students who struggle.
I've been thinking about that a lot lately as I struggle to achieve a number of personal goals. I have to sit down and focus on the small wins to motivate myself to get back up when I struggle and fail on the goal path I've set. It's a goal that will take a lot longer than I expected since there have been a number of unexpected challenges along the way. I've thought a lot about students who struggle as I follow this path. I've thought about what truly helps me with this goal and what doesn't help me.
One positive aspect of the goal path is that I have some great supporters--experts and others who understand the goal I've set and provide all kinds of good information, coaching, and care. I couldn't move towards this goal without them--they are invaluable. There's a lot of give-and-take conversation as I learn about what it takes to achieve this goal and as they learn about me. This give-and-take, two-way conversation really helps me to make progress.
Sometimes, however, when you are helping someone with a struggle, there is little or no give or take. That, in many ways, can be very challenging as without the give-and-take conversation, it's difficult to ascertain what will help the person best. When the person you are helping cannot or will not converse, you have to become adept at greater observation by reading a person's body posture, facial expressions, actions to determine what is working and what's not.
I had that experience recently when I tried to help a loved one. I didn't know exactly what she wanted, and my attempts to help were thwarted. Then I saw a family member help in a different way, and his help was well received. Next time, I help I'll follow that family member's lead with regard to what I do as my goal is to help the person feel comfortable, at peace, and happy as can be given the circumstances of the situation.
Helping those that struggle is not a perfect science. It takes the best of us to figure out what to do and then to do it with as much love and grace as possible. That's a challenge many in the world face--a mighty challenge that makes us better people. Onward.