Over time we meet many people via work, family, community, and our interests. Some of those people become dear friends and others simply play a smaller role of connection mostly positive and perhaps, some not as positive. No matter whether a person was a big or small, positive or not so positive part of your life, those people tend to linger in the recesses of your mind popping up now and then.
As I think back to my many, many connections, I am wondering about why people pop into our minds. For example this morning, a person I knew long ago popped in--I thought a bit about this person and his affect on me. In this case, while drawn to befriend this person, time and place never allowed that. I was over-the-top-busy with my family and work at the time, and this person's desire for a family friendship just didn't fit in though there was some mutual respect as well as mutual quandary about one another. At busy times in busy places, we often can't stretch ourselves too thin in order to care well for our families, our work, and contribution.
Another person popped into my head, a person who I never related well too. This was a good person, but a person who saw the world very differently than me. While we valued the same big values in life, we didn't necessarily value or participate in the same smaller lifeways--life was asking different things of the two of us, thus the connection never grew deep.
And another, who for the most part was a challenge to me--a person that was always creating more work, greater conflict, and lots of frustration for me. Again, this is a good person who did a lot of good in the world, but we never saw things the same way, and her efforts continually obstructed what I wanted to do. I guess you could say she made me think, though to this day I don't really understand why she had to create so many obstacles to the work I deeply wanted to do. In time, I may understand.
People affect us in all kinds of ways on the path of life. Some stay for a long time and others for short spands of time. In my latest chapter, with more time, I am thinking more deeply about the people who I am traveling the road of life with. What do I want those relationships to be like? What do I hope we can do together? What matters most?
Life is always a mix of opportunities and limitations, and this is true of relationships too. People are pulled in many directions with regard to time, commitment, capacity, and interests. How can this somewhat complex life puzzle be sorted, connected, and evolved over time to nurture the relationships that make life meaningful, enjoyable and loving? Lots to think about. Onward.