Long ago as an educator, I noticed a child breaking a rule. I confronted the child and did not give her an out--a way to redeem herself. That was a mistake on my part. She was a young girl who did almost everything right--she was earnest and hard working. I should have given her a way to learn an important lesson while retaining her dignity at the same time. After that incident, I handled similar issues differently.
If people do things that are wrong, but not gravely harmful to others, do we give them a chance to learn with dignity or do we embarrass and disparage them?
I read a good article recently about a doctor who was handling antivaxers with grace and respect. Rather than meet them with disparaging, embarrassing comments, he queried why they did not get vaccinated and responded with a thoughtful, kind and respectful effort to educate. His graceful ways convinced antivaxers to get the vaccinations, and his graceful ways retained people's dignity too.
Similarly, once I unknowingly used words in a derogatory way. I didn't understand why those words were harmful and hurtful. A kind colleague quietly took me aside and educated me. She retained my dignity while helping me to improve my words. She gave me an important out in the situation.
Too often many of us may jump too quickly to condemn or criticize a person's actions without giving them a way out of a difficult situation. That is not the best way to deal with a situation. Instead, like my kind colleague or the doctor I mentioned, we have to look for ways to educate while protecting people's dignity and acknowledging their will to do wha is right and good.
I'll look for more opportunities to do that in the days ahead.