The situation gnawed at me for hours, days. What was wrong? I couldn't pinpoint the problem, but my body was pulsing with nerves. Then, finally, this morning with the help of a good friend, I was able to see more clearly what was bothering me. Clearly I wished for a painful situation to be better, calmer, more at peace, but I didn't have control over most of the factors--it was out of my realm. Yet, as the friend pointed out, there were some things I could do to create a calmer, more peaceful situation.
Throughout my life, I've experienced this. I remember when I was very young I went through a period of nightmares. My mom finally diagnosed the problem which was a teacher who was upset with the class. I actually liked the teacher and learned a lot from her, but her discomfort and unease with some of the students really bothered me more at a subconscious level than a conscious level. Once my mother pinpointed the problem and spoke to me about it, the nightmares subsided. Later, a friend told me about her experiences in the class. She was one of the students the teacher found difficult, and it was a trying time for my friend.
Time and again, my body registers little events, words, and expressions that alert me to what may happen in the future. Just recently, I had that experience with a friend. The friend's expressions, words and actions made me think something uncomfortable would happen, and then that's exactly what happened. This experience fits into the realm of Highly Sensitive People (HSP), people who tend to read the landscape of emotions and expressions around them, and people who often feel what others are feeling.
Just recently I was up at night worrying about a situation, and then a couple days later what I worried about occurred. This reading the landscape of emotions and expressions provides some predictive power too that can be both helpful and bothersome at the same time.
Essentially what I'm learning to do is take this somewhat premonitive power seriously, and then make the most of what I see. For example, if I identify anger in an individual's actions, then see what I can do to deal with that in a positive way perhaps by listening more, acknowledging the individual's feelings, and perhaps helping the person to translate that angry energy into something more positive.
At my core, I want people to be happy, yet I know that none of us are happy all the time--life happens, and as life happens, we experience a myriad of emotions. Knowing that our loved ones are there for us both in good days and not so good days, is a comfort we can bring to others and a comfort we can rely on with those we share deep and lasting relationships with.
To make the most of life events, is to focus on the positivity possible--positive choices, positive responses, positive support. We can be those people for one another. Onward.