Sudden loss

 A friend just called to tell me that a long-time colleague, Mary Davis, just passed away. I knew Mary for many, many years and as I think of this loss, I am remembering all the experiences we shared and all the stories she told. 

First of all, and most importantly, Mary was a strong, loving woman whose reach was wide and deep. More than anyone I know, she had a wonderfully, large and loving family. She was proud of every single member of that family and supported them all through thick and thin. 

At school, she was a friend and supporter of many, many students and teachers. I remember how loving she was to me when I left for maternity leave and she hosted a student-shower for my new baby and me. That same year she engaged students in a number of hands-on activities to learn about American history--the students LOVED it! Later throughout her long tenure, she could be found counseling many a student and teacher in loving ways. Once she invited me to her home during a difficult chapter offering me great consult and care. At the school lunch table, I loved hearing the stories about her many children, their partners, her husband Billy and the grandchildren. Sadly, Mary lost her husband at a young age. I attended the funeral and was struck by the deep family love displayed at that event--it was incredible. Even now, as I drive through the community, I remember the stories Mary told me about her family history as I pass places that were significant to her. 

I can't believe that Mary is gone at such a young age. She will be deeply missed by so many. Whenever anyone I know dies, I like to choose a few significant aspects of their life to bring forward. With respect to Mary's good life, I want to bring forward her deep, unconditional love and dedication to family. I can only hope to be as good a mother, wife, mother-in-law, sister and grandmother as Mary. I also want to bring forth her strength during adversity. When Mary was young she suddenly lost her young brother. Later she weathered the sudden loss of her husband who she loved so dearly. I also watched her navigate her children's ups and downs over the years. She didn't let life's troubles get her down, but instead moved ahead respecting the losses with an open mind to the grace and joy around her. 

Mary also served as a bit of a devil's advocate to me--when she didn't agree with something I did, she'd give me a look. I appreciated that look because it made me think, and sometimes because of that look, I changed the way I approached a situation to make it better. 

Mary's sensitivity also came through when she wrote, The Day the Teacher Cried. Students and I were so touched when she read that book to them.

Farewell Mary. I know that you will be shining down on all of us and sending your incredible love to your children in countless ways. I will continue to think of you as a source of strength and care. Much love. You will be missed.