When you think about your friends, do you think about what they need, want and desire? That thought came to mind this morning as I considered a phone conversation with a friend--what is it that she really wants, needs and desires, I thought?
Is the goal of friendship to satisfy another's needs, wants and desires, or is friendship, the chance to walk the path of life with someone you care about enjoying similar passions, interests and events. Likely friendship is both.
Last year, an old friend reentered my life and fulfilled a tremendous need and desire that I had. She reintroduced me to outdoor adventure in ways that I had not experienced in time. That reintroduction was invigorating and comforting at the same time. Throughout life, that friend's confidence with regard to following her heart and desires has continually been inspiring. Too often, I did as I was told with not enough attention to what it was that I truly loved and wanted. That friend, in many ways, answered my needs, wants and desires. I don't know if I was able to do the same for her. In many ways, it seems that there are others who have what she needs, wants and desires more right now.
Yet, there is another friend I've become close to where our ability to nurture one another is mutual. At the core of this good friendship is the fact that we are asking the same questions of life. Our searching for answers to those questions puts us in a similar place and gives us something to nurture each other with. Everytime we talk, I believe we are both invigorated and inspired--ready to embrace life in more fulfilling, positive ways. So more than fulfilling each other's lives, it is the same questions we share that bring us together.
No friend will fulfil all of your needs, wants and desires, and similarly as a friend, you will not be able to be all things for any one friend. The key is to find where you connect and maximize those good connections as well as to know what it is that you can do for each other to lift each other up, support one another, and to make life more meaningful and successful for each other too.