When a situation baffles me, I ask the question: If I could have anything at this moment, what would I have? My answer to this question typically helps me to find out what I'm really wanting or thinking about.
For example, often the answer to this question is that I desire a good night's sleep--that tells me that exhaustion is getting in the way. Another common answer is time alone--that means I need a little space from life's typical schedule. Rarely is the answer to this question something big and expensive, but more typically the answer is something simple and attainable.
Recently I was struck with an emotional storm. A series of unexpected events created havoc, but I couldn't understand exactly why this happened or what I wanted to do about it so I asked myself the question, If I could have anything in this situation, what would I want?
I recognized that what I wanted in the situation was possible and I had even entertained that option with the people involved, but those people didn't want that--they weren't open to the option. And due to their opposition, I was unable to make that happen, so I would have to let things stay as they are which is a place where no one is harmed, but in my mind, it's not as ideal as it could be.
I thought back to a time when a similar situation occurred with similar individuals. It was a long, long time ago. I had a vision for a better outcome for an event, but the people involved did not want to entertain my vision. I had little power over the situation and the outcome was not what I hoped for or imagined yet my role was small and my power little. Later in life, when I was in a similar position but with more power and control, I made a different choice, and I was much more pleased with the outcome than during that time in my childhood when I didn't have much say in the matter.
So the question, What would I have, if I could have anything? is a question that helps us to understand what we desire, what we can do, and what we can't do too. Sometimes things are simply out of our control even when we have the best of energy and intentions--sometimes we simply have to accept that people make choices we may not understand or agree with, and unless those choices have the gravity that leads us to law enforcement or other dramatic efforts, we simply have to allow people to make their own choices. On the upside, sometimes what happens is that we find we were wrong, and people did make a good choice, but often we simply have to endure the less-than-best outcome that occurs. Onward.