Sometimes those you love most may foist their anger on you, not because you deserve it, but because they are angry and can't contain it. That happened to me recently when a loved one angered by life's turn of events thrusted his anger in my direction. The situation, at best, was tough and complex. There was some choice for my loved one, but the sheer emotion of the situation trumped any logic. Basically, the situation sucked and there were few silver linings.
As I received this anger via words and some actions, I thought about how I should receive this frustration. What should I do? I decided to deal with it in the following ways:
- Empathy: Yes, the situation sucks--I wish it was different too.
- Comfort: Gifts that bring comfort including good food, pretty flowers and good cheer
- Listening: There's no way to change the situation, but simply listening will alleviate the pain
- Presence: Being present is positive
While special, holidays can exasperate the sadness that comes with loss and illness. During the holidays you may remember happier, healthier days whereas the typical, ordinary daily routine may make life's struggles somewhat easier as you embed care routines into the daily agenda.
In the past, when I was the recipent of anger due to loss, illness or other sadnesses, I sometimes became angry in return, but this year with time, it is easy for me to see that anger is sometimes the result of grave sadness and loss, and I will meet this anger with as much love and empathy as I can. Onward.