I've lost few friends in life though there have been many who have peacefully drifted away due to the natural course of time, place and events.
I wish someone had told me about the pain of lost friendship earlier on because I may have been able to avoid the painful loss. What do I wish they told me?
Be gentle with friends
Sometimes the comfort level with friends can make you less careful and gentle with your friendships--you may think that you can do or say anything, when in truth, friendships as in all relationships are somewhat fragile and easily lost if not tended to well.
Give friends time
Sometimes our friends may not be available to us for all kinds of reasons, when this happens it is good to give them time.
Disagreement happens
As in any relationship, friends will disagree. You can go hard on these disaagreements which may fracture a friendship forever or you can give the disagreements time to find a peaceful compromise or disappear.
Acknowledge your friend's worth
Don't miss the opportunity to let a friend know that they are valuable to you. There are many ways to do this in meaningful, kind and thoughtful ways.
Invest in the friendship
Find ways to make your friendships strong and lasting--figure out ways that are mutually satisfying and fulfilling.
I recently lost a good friendship--one I enjoyed. The loss came quickly, but looking back there were signs that the friendship was dissolving. What could I have done to preserve this valued camaraderie? As noted above, I should have given my friend a bit more space and time. I also should have held my ground a bit more because in some ways that friend had used me rather than valued me--this was not purposeful, but perhaps a habit instead. If I had not let myself be used, I think the friend would have valued me more.
Perhaps I'll regain this friendship in time, but with each day the drift becomes greater so I'm not sure about that, yet I've learned a powerful lesson about tending the relationships we care about, a lesson I don''t want to forget. Onward.