Everyone faces tough choices when it comes to time, money, relationships and more. What creates those tough choices and how do you choose?
As always, your values and vision for your life play an integral role when it comes to tough choices. What matters to you is an important question in this regard, and knowing what matters to you will help you to choose.
Recently I met a tough choice. In a sense my values were pitted against old time traditions. I tried to strike a middle ground, but clearly that wasn't going to work so I had to make the tough choice for my values versus the tradition. In the long run, I know I won't be disappointed, but in the short term, there the sting of losing something and someone that was valuable to me throughout my life. Perhaps, someday there will be a better resolve to this situation--the kind of resolve that maintains tradition, relationships and values too--but for now, that doesn't seem to be happening.
Often friends and loved ones face same challenges, but choose differently. This can often be clearly seen with how people spend their money. What's an extravagance for one might be unthinkable for another. Similarly a necessity for one may seem unnecessary to another. We typically don't spend our dollars or time in exactly the same ways.
When I look back at the tough choices I've made over time, some of those choices still smart. There's regrets, but also compassion, for hurried choices that suffered from a lack of patience and awareness to make a better choice, and there's sadness for tough, but important, choices that may have ended a good relationship or endeavor due to ethical considerations.
What I've learned about tough choices includes the following:
- Be as humane as possible when making choices
- Don't compromise your most important values
- Be as loving as possible--go hard on the problem, not the people
- Be patient and take the time you need to think deeply about the decisiokn you'll make
- Be compassionate and forgiving to yourself for past error in judgement/choices--when we approach new situations, we are often clumsy and imperfect
- Apologize for errors when necessary