I remember a moment when I was young when my mom didn't want to jump into the ocean waves. I couldn't understand that because at that time, you couldn't get me out of the water--I loved playing in that cold National Seashore ocean for hours upon hours. I'm sure that my mom was similar to me as a child, but as an older woman her will to spend hours in cold water changed.
We change over time, yet as we change we don't want to forget life's special moments and the way people of many ages see the world. Holidays offer a good backdrop for this thought because we can think about ourselves over time during a single holiday. One reason I love the holidays is that my mom and dad and the rest of my very big family made the holidays very special for us. At Thanksgiving, we typically welcomed my grandparents and sometimes other relatives to our home for a delicious home cooked meal, and then for many years, we welcomed all our relatives for a post-Thanksgiving feast at night. The evening party in our relatively small cape home included many women in the living room telling stories and laughing, the men in the kitchen telling tales, several women preparing food and placing it on the dining room table, and children everywhere running up and down the basement stairs, playing in the den, on their parents' labs and elsewhere. The house was full and there was lots and lots of happiness.
My mom never stopped during these holiday celebrations. She woke up early to start the meal, worked throughout the morning cooking, served the meal to a busy table including the six children in my family, my dad, grandparents and often others, cleaned up, then began preparing for the evening celebration. By the end of the day, when she and my dad were cleaning up after the second celebration, she was exhausted, but generally happy. Mom and dad did all they could to make the holidays special for us.
Some of these Thanksgiving celebrations were more challenging than others. During the teen years, there was some angst as siblings tested their independence in less-than-respectful ways. Those dinners didn't live up to the Norman Rockwell image of a New England Thanksgiving, but we made the best of those celebrations, celebrations where Mom's cooking remained delicious offering all of us warmth and welcoming.
Now, due to Mom's illness and the fact that my siblings also celebrate with their partner's families, we don't all see each other on Thanksgiving, but together we made a plan to make sure Mom and Dad would have a Thanksgiving meal to enjoy and visitors throughout the holiday season. It's not perfect, but it's quite good.
I remember when I met my husband and started celebrating the holidays with his family too. Fortunately his family only lived about an hour away from my family so we were able to have two Thanksgivings some years. We would start at my family's home and then move on to my husband's family. Both celebrations were special, and now my own family Thanksgivings carry on traditions from both families including some time outdoors hiking and/or watching a football game.
We will change over time, but as we change, we don't want to forget to carry on the traditions and joy that we experienced throughout life. We want to do what we can to make the holidays healthy and happy.
Onward.