Recent news related to the Kyle Rittenhouse trial, the Michigan murders, and the racist murder of Ahmaud Arberry has a lot of people talking about the parents involved. Also, the way the pandemic threw parents into a quagmire of needed child care and work expectations has also heightened our discussions about parenting. Further the news has focused on parents who are refusing vaccines, getting sick and dying from COVID, working against teachers and modern day curriculum approaches and more. What is good parenting for the modern age? What does it look like and what do parents need today to be able to parent in the most successful ways?
There is not a one-size-fits-all recipe for good parenting
To think that all parents have to be the same is a mistake. I believe there are many ways to parent well. That said, there are definitely some critical threads that belong in all parenting styles. First is love. Parents needs to actively love and care for their children, and if they cannot do that, they need to seek help because children need love and care--lots of it. Safety is another common thread. It is the responsibility of parents to make sure that their children are safe. Safety means securing any weapons in the home, placing medications in locked or too-high-to-reach shelves, having smoke detectors that work and teaching children how to be safe in the neighborhood, cars and more. Further, children need optimal health care, a quality education, good nutrition, positive activity and a warm, welcoming home. Parenting well is a big job and the decision to have children is a big decision that requires a full-time investment. It is every parent's responsibility to be a good parent, and when that is compromised, parents need to reach out to get some help.
Parents must work with the agencies that support their children
Parents have to work positively with the many agencies that serve their children and those agencies also have to team with parents. When those who support children work against each other, the child loses. This means that both families and child service agencies such as schools, pediatricians, afterschool programs, summer camps and more have to find ways to help each other support children as well as they can.
All children matter
The huge wage gap in society has created a huge gap in parenting too. We have too many families that cannot provide for their children and some families that nurture their children with dangerous excess and privilege. It's great to dote on children and take care of them with great time and energy, but it's not great to dote on your children in ways that foster a sense of elitism that works against the kind of compassion, empathy and good manners that help children to be respectful, contributing world citizens. It is important that we work to take care of all of society's children--when some children are left out of good care and attention, we all suffer.
Lead with a view of what's best for children at the helm
If leaders think about what's best for children first, then they will lead well for all today and into the future. Too often leaders are moved by the needs and desires of elite donors rather than what is right and good for society and especially what is right and good for children. We have to elect leaders that care about all of our children and who work to promote good living for every child.
Educate all the children
Troubles in society point to problems with education. Are we educating all of America's children well. I believe that we can do a much better job in this regard by giving schools the resources they need to serve every child well. These "conditions of excellence" as discussed by education leaders include inviting, welcoming, modern inside/outside, virtual/real time learning environments, staffing numbers that ensure that every child gets the services and attention they deserve, highly qualified teaching staffs, quality curriculum programs that provide students with a rich, deep education that gives them the knowledge, skills and mindset to live a good life for themselves and others.
Too often children and parents are left out of the national discussion about the direction our country is moving in, and that's a problem. We see many lawmakers today lobbying to include children and parents in the national dialogue and budget--this is good. We all need to think about what will support children and parents best, and work to provide every child in our country the opportunity to not only survive, but to thrive. We can do that.