Family ties face a lot of challenges over time, yet if you can keep those ties strong, you'll find a lot of good support, camaraderie and happiness.
What challenges family ties?
Competition
When families embrace competition over collaboration, family ties are challenged. Best to recognize that everyone brings different traits, talents, and dreams to the table, and the more you can work together around common interests and focus, the better.
Different dreams and lifestyles
Family members will adopt different lifestyles and dreams. What one family member believes to be a positive way to live may differ greatly from another family member. There will be differences in finances, living arrangements, locations, jobs, families, vacations and more. The more you adopt a curious and interest attitude towards family members' choices and lives, the better. Don't try to live like one another, but instead live your own life with respect for other people's lives.
Bad choices
Some family members may make really bad choices--the kinds of choices that can break up a family possibly forever. We've all heard about and perhaps experienced these kinds of traitorous, deceptive, hurtful events, and when this happens some tough choices have to be made. If a family member endangers other family members, of course you have to sever ties or make sure any connections are safely guarded. If a family member consistently causes havoc, perhaps you can try to find a way to make peace or avoid the havoc by choosing the kinds of get togethers carefully. Bad choices present great challenges to families.
Hurt and anger
Some family members may have been greatly hurt by other family members. Sometimes this is not intentional at all but instead the result of multiple events, time and place. At other times this hurt can be the result of neglect, judgement, exclusion, differing values and more. It's difficult to make amends in situations like this unless all involved are eager to mend the ties and work together. Of course, it's better to tread gently and thoughtfully from the start so hurt and anger don't occur.
Mediation
When tough family events occur, it can be helpful to have someone mediate a peaceful resolution. Similar to softening situations of hurt and anger, all parties have to be open to this idea. I've done this and it is really helpful as mediation can help you to see a situation in a positive light.
Space and time
For families to work well together, they need to have the space and time to be themselves. This takes some thoughtful planning and choreography of family events.
In general, family ties stay strong if you focus on what you can do for one another and not expect each other to always be in cinc, but to expect a good level of common respect, care and support. Onward.