For all of us that care for others, we have to reconsider the care quotient regularly with questions like these:
- What capacity do my loved ones have?
- What do my loved ones need?
- How can I help?
Typically we receive messages about our loved ones' changing needs and capacity. For example, recently I received some clear signals that I don't have to help one relative in ways that I've been helping. Their capacity to manage their own life has increased dramatically. It's more of a hands-off time than a hands-on. Yet, with other loved ones, recent signals have alerted me that I have to finesse my caretaking in ways that meet their changing needs and capacity better. While situations related to caretaking profit from consistency, that consistent routine has to be evaluated and changed regularly as well to meet the changing needs and desires of your loved ones.
So as I assess the needs, I use these questions to get specific?
- Is the living situation warm, welcoming and conducive to good living? If not, what do they need to make that a reality?
- Are they able to maintain health eating/activity routines that keep them as healthy as possible? If not, what support can be added to help out with that?
- Do they have interests that entertain them and make them happy? If not, what can be added to make life happier and more interesting?
- Are some of the old methods of support no longer helpful or positive? Is it time to retire some routines and practices?
Also, as with all good planning, it's helpful to look ahead and think about what's most important. What does the six month, one year, five years and ten years vision look like, and what needs to happen to ake that as positive as possible. While we can't predict the future, we can lay a path to a positive future by making some time to visualize what has to happen to make the future as positive as possible. When I think about this, I think about the following areas of living:
- financial security--you don't have to be rich to be happy, but happiness is more likely if you have enough money to pay your bills, afford your essentials and have a little left over for some fun, entertaining events/activities.
- health--poor health makes good living challenging, so whatever you can do to support best possible health will be positive.
- positive endeavor--building capacity to engage in positive endeavors will definitely provide a path to good living. This can be as simple as settng up patterns of playing games, reading books, watching movies, hosting friends and hikes in the woods or more complex events such as travel and new hobbies.
- positive relationships--how can you foster best possible relationships with and for your loved ones. What kinds of communication, get togethers, collective pursuits and support helps that to happen?
Today I'll make some time to revisit the care quotient in a number of life areas, then I'll get to work on the plans I create. Onward.