The value of empathy

 The more I live and read, the more I understand the value of empathy. Without empathy, we obstruct the good possible. 

What is empathy?








How do we learn empathy?

The best way to learn empathy is to experience it. For example, if children grow up and got to school in empathetic environments, they will learn empathy. But if children grow up in environments that ignore or disprespect their feelings and the feelings of others, it will be difficult for them to learn empathy. We can also read about empathy, try out empathetic strategies and reflect on empathy to group our ability to be empathetic. 

What words and phrases can we use to support and develop empathy in ourselves and others?

When people share their feelings, don't jump to judgement or ignore those feelings. Instead, meet their feelings with an open mind, a sense of curiosity and questions such as these:

  • Tell me more about how you feel?
  • Why do you think you feel this way?
  • Is there any way I can help you with this?
  • What do you think is the best course of action with these feelings in mind? 
Empathy empowers people--when people feel heard and know you care, they generally gain the confidence they need to understand and deal with their feelings in positive ways. On the other hand, when people's feelings are unheard or disrespected, they can begin to lose confidence and the ability to deal with those feelings in positive ways. 

What can we do with regard to those who lack empathy?

Empathy can be taught. Those who lack empathy likely have not experienced empathy. They've grown to have little understanding of how empathy works and the value of empathy. 

When someone disregards and disrespects your feelings, you can simply use statements like this:
  • Whether right or wrong, this is how I feel, I'm simply expressing my feelings. 
  • I'm sharing my feelings with you because you are someone I trust and someone who I felt could help me better understand these feelings and what to do about them.
  • I'm not asking you to agree or disagree with the situation, I'm simply telling you how this makes me feel.
We will do well if we develop our ability to empathize with others and help to develop each others' empathy. We can do this.