A distant relative of mine who because successful in his career met any obstacles along the way. Few to none wanted him to embark on the career he chose. They appeared to see no value in his passion. Now decades later, people brag about his success. This is a tale often told when it comes to people's passions. For many, their passions and interests are not supported, but nevertheless and because they feel those passions deeply, they persist.
I thought of this story today as I thought about people telling each what or what not to do. There's nothing more suffocating than to pour your heat out to someone and then have them tell you what to do in a sentence or two. These commands show little empathy or will to understand who you are or what you need, but instead appear to shut you up instead.
I remember experiencing this a number of times in life. At a young age, I was curious about many matters and asked a lot of questions. Often the response was, "Go out and play." As you can imagine, that wasn't the response I was looking for and it was a response that demonstrated little interest in my curiosity. Later in life when I sought the couseel of a few people I respected greatly with regard to their service work, they responded with little interest or care basically telling me to count my blessings rather than taking a serious interest and respect to my concern at the time. Clearly, they didn't understand who I was or what I was questioning at the time.
Now, much later, I'm thinking about how to respond to people who reach out to you--what can you say when they share their thoughts and curiosities with you. In these situations, I believe it always good to have an open mind as you listen. Also, I believe it's best to let people answer their own questions as much as possible. For example, when I approached a college chaplain about a career question, rather than having her tell me to "count my blessings," she doule have said, What do you imagine yourself doing? Why would that be important to you today and into the future? That would have been a more helpful response.
Usually people know what they want, but often that is buried deep inside. To tease it out with questions such as What advice would you give yourself? Where do you imagine yourself going? How would you want to get there? Who might help you? provides a positive launching pad for positive direction. Onward.