Throughout life, I've collected lots of stories and used them as morality tales. A morality tale is a story that teaches you about right and wrong.
While we all make bad choices from time to time, it's good to avoid those bad choices as much as possible. One way to avoid bad choices is to heed the lessons of other's missteps. As a child, this was a daily event in my home. My mom and dad would regularly share stories from the newspaper and discuss the stories with us. In many ways, that story share taught us about right and wrong and helped to keep us safe. I particularly remember my mom sharing stories about women or teens and safety. The stories shared were sad, and the bad choices made by the woman and teens mostly avoidable.
Later in life I learned a lot from my own reading and watching of the news as well as stories shared with colleagues, friends, and family members. We teach each other via story, and learning how not to misstep via story makes us stronger and better when faced with tough situations.
I thought of this after watching Will Smith assault Chris Rock last night. It was a chain reaction. Rock made a joke that made fun of Smith's wife, Smith's wife reacted with discontent, Smith got up and assaulted Rock with a slap/punch and angry words. Afterwards Smith apologized to some and gave rationale for his angry outburst, but did not apologize to Chris Rock for his inappropriate behavior.
The event was another morality tale. People will make us upset with their words and jokes, and we have the right to counter those upsetting statements with our words, but it is rarely right to counter upsetting words with physical force as that hurts others and can escalate the situation. Will Smith exemplified what not to do.
Also, Chris Rock's joke represented the kind of humor that can be hurtful. I remembered going to a retirement party once when a teacher's husband roasted her career with one joke after another. While some laughed at the humor, I was offended by his ridicule--the jokes weren't funny to me, but instead put-downs about his wife's long and dedicated career. Comedians always walk the line between humor that's funny, and humor that's hurtful. The lesson is to err on the side of compassion and care rather than hurtful commentary.
There were other morality stories this week. President Biden did an excellent job with his visit to the NATO meeting and Poland's border. I listened to his speech and was happy to see him use powerful words related to freedom, humanity, safety, and positive progress. Later, however, his team walked back some of the impromptu words he used because those words did not fit the diplomatic intent of the event. I didn't think about that when I heard the words because I do believe that Putin should be removed since he is acting like a monster upsetting the world order by killing innocent children and others, destroying loving communities, wrecking our natural world, displacing/separating families, and upsetting the wonderful potential that exists for good. Yet, I can see how the words of world leaders must fit the diplomatic mission of events. The lesson here is to be careful about the words you use. I continue to honor Biden's fine work and see this, overall, as a small error, yet Putin and Biden's enemies will likely use this as an opportunity to continue their dangerous and destructive acts, propagandists like Putin, Trump and their heinous teams use whatever they can to justify the hate and horror they promote. They are cruel, evil people who must be held accountable.
Our own missteps become morality tales for our loved ones too. I often share stories of my mistakes in life with my loved ones so they don't make the same mistakes. My mom and dad shared their life stories as well. I remember their favorite story lessons, and those stories have helped me to make better choices in life. Hopefully this kind of story share helps us all to make better choices in life.
I hope that Will Smith brings the evening's event full circle by apologizing to Chris Rock, and I hope the two can discuss the humor and why it was so upsetting publicly together. I can imagine why this might be true, but everything is conjecture unless you hear from the people directly involved. They are very public and popular entertainers, stars that many look to for leadership, inspiration and laughter. I do think they owe it to the public to make peace and tell what truly was going on.
We all make missteps in life. Those missteps eventually have the potential to right our direction and help others make good choices too if we learn from them and make amends. If we don't learn from our missteps and the mistakes of others, we run the risk of making big, irreparable errors--the kind that result in grave harm and hurt. As an educator, one of the most painful experiences was watching families not help children own their error and learn from it. When this happened time and again to children, those children didn't learn the needed lessons and often made greater, more hurtful mistakes later on. It's good to learn the lessons and reap the consequences of errors when they are small as that protects you from making the greater errors in life.
As I think of the lessons inherent in the week's events, I want to remind myself of these important points:
- Words matter--be careful with what you say and how you say it.
- Solve conflicts with thoughtful words and actions, not violence.
- Work with honesty and transparency, follow the laws, and if you don't like the laws, work peacefully to change those laws.
- It is never right to harm or hurt innocents.
- People will make mistakes, and it's important to meet those mistakes with empathy, apology, and learning from those mistakes.