I was chided harshly yesterday for weighing in on the Will Smith slap. Clearly this slap brought out strong feelings from many. I know that when I saw the incident, I was triggered in many ways. Yet, the individual who chided me, essentially said that I had no right speaking about the issue, and because of my skin shade, I did not understand the situation.
I agree that I cannot see or understand situations via everyone's perspective or experience, but I also believe that this issue was a big deal and touched many of us for all kinds of reasons. First, people throughout the world feel strongly about both Will Smith and Chris Rock. Many of us grew up with Will Smith's humor and acting, and have followed his career over time. For many of us, he is a symbol of joyful, humane, good living via his acting and what we know of his family life. We expect him to lead us in many ways. Also, many like me, loved the movie, King Richard--the story was inspiring and the acting wonderful. Similarly, many of us follow Chris Rock. We enjoy his humor and the humor of many comedians. I'm a big fan of comedy, but I do cringe when comedians' humor is hurtful. Earlier in the night, there were a few jokes on stage that definitely created discomfort, but there were many more that were simply funny. As with all topics in life, people react to comedy in different ways too--what's funny for one may not be funny for others.
What I realized from the harsh commentary I received is that many people identify strongly with Will Smith's wife, Jada Pinkett Smith. She was their main concern with respect to this issue. While I knew about Pinkett-Smith's condition, alopecia, I don't know much about her. I registered her look when Rock made fun of her. I don't like jokes that hurt people's feelings or make fun of their looks or personal challenges, and he clearly crossed the line here. Did he mean to hurt her feelings? I have no idea.
I also didn't realize how strong people's allegiance was to Smith and Rock, or the diversity of opinion related to using a slap to defend one's spouse. Some condoned the act while others, like me, found it to cross the line of civility and respect. I am very sensitive to physical force of any kind--it scares me and worries me for lots of reasons.
So, at this point, I recognize that this short incident touched many people deeply in all kinds of ways--it was an incident that had resounding, varying impact. I'm glad that Smith eventually came out with a substantial apology for using physical force. I'm also glad that many have spoken up about how painful the joke was for those who suffer from alopecia and other challenges--this has brought greater awareness, and I hope that this incident will point out the need to settle conflicts with peaceful debate and words rather than physical outbursts and force. Rock also faced an injustice, and while Smith's apology was a step in the right direction, more needs to be done to make amends for the assault Rock endured.
It was an unfortunate, frightening incident that took a celebratory night and turned it into a situation of resounding conflict and struggle. Hopefully those affected in any way have learned important lessons to bring forward so that incidents like this do not happen again.