How do you reckon with living a good life for yourself and living a good life for others? What is the right balance for you, and who/what influences that balance?
As I set the schedule and budget for the days ahead, I'm thinking about this balance. I'm heavily influenced by my childhood religious background, immediate/extended family values, political beliefs and life experiences in this regard.
Care for All
When I became an educator, the movement to ensure that children with special education needs were included as much as possible in regular education was the big topic of attention. I took a lot of courses related to this inclusion and implemented inclusive practices into my classroom and school with colleagues. The greatest lesson from this work was that when we do well by those who fall far from the mean, we do better by all. This lesson was evident time and again as we implemented new strategies to include all students in regular education.
So, as I think about the right balance of taking care of self and taking care of others, it seems to me that when we take good care of others, we take good care of ourselves as well. Specifically this means that we have to think about what others in our midst need, and how we might serve those needs in ways that meet their needs and our own needs at the same time. One simple example of this is that we know that clean environments inspire the best of us. We also know that regular exercise keeps us strong. We can implement weekly litter walks where we get the exercise we need and also pick up the litter along paths and roadways at the same time. Another example of this is that I sometimes cook meals for relatives--while cooking those meals, I can cook meals for my own family too. It's a win-win solution.
Positive routine
Putting a healthy, positive routine for self and those you care for in place is a positive way to create balance between self care and care for others. Working with others to create this routine, makes good care for self and others more automatic, less time consuming with regard to decision making, and more predictable. This is positive.
Long term planning
While some shy away from long term planning, long term planning creates the opportunity to plan time and money well in ways that make space for special, happy life enriching events for self and others. These kinds of special events help to bring life meaning, camaraderie and happiness.
Taking care of self helps us to take care of others
If we are weak, overused, unhealthy and unhappy, we can't care for others, but on the other hand, if we don't make time to care for and work with others, we will be isolated and not as socially and ultimately physically happy as we can be. It's important to do both--care for self and care for others. Knowing what you need to do, setting up a good routine, and collaborating with others to make that happen will lead you in the right direction in this regard. We can do this.