A long time ago I watched a family make what seemed like terrible decisions with regard to their children. As an educator who worked with many children and families, I noticed the way the children in this family presented--they held their shoulders low, they didn't smile much, they were aggressive and seemingly often unhappy. I ached for those children and tried to offer their caretakers some advice. My advice was not taken or respected. I knew giving the advice was a gamble, but I thought it was worth it. I tried a few other strategies to little avail as well. Finally, I mostly gave up on the matter and accepted things as they were. Other steps I could have taken were taken by other people in their midst, and eventually, some good changes occurred creating a somewhat better situation.
Giving advice is a precarious ordeal--when should you advise and when should you mind your own business? As a teacher, I was a mandated reporter. If I heard or saw any child abuse, I had to reach out to authorities. That is a good law that has helped a lot of families. I noticed that even though a family was often angry when reported, generally there was improvement for the children after the report thanks to many good systems and social/health workers in place.
So do you advise or don't you, and when do people follow or not follow advice given. Lately I've watched many friends and loved ones deal with lots of different medical conditions. It has been interesting to see how people react to the advice they get. Some religiously follow the advice while others have a harder time with it. The same is true for me--for some conditions, I am good at following the advice while I am not so good at following the advice related to other conditions. Why is that true? I think we have a natural instinct to avoid what's uncomfortable and negative in life--so if the advice relates to discomfort or unpleasantness, we may bury it and not follow that advice.
It's far easier to give advice than to take advice. It's much easier to see what another person is doing wrong than to see those wrongs in yourself. I heard a person recently remark on another person's inability to take care of a health concern while that same person was avoiding her own health concern. I'm sure I've done the same. Looking in the mirror and doing what's best for yourself is not always easy.
In the best of circumstances we build the kind of trust with one another that allows us to collaborate in truthful, honest, helpful ways--ways that lead us all ahead as we take care of ourselves and others. Advising one another in these situations is typically positive whereas when the trust and respect is not there, advising is rarely helpful.
I'm going to think more on this topic in the days ahead, and in the meantime, I'll do what I can to follow the good advice I've received and read to direct my path in a positive direction. Onward.