Recently there have been a number of stories in the news related to student bullying, harm, hate, and even death. These incidents are heartbreaking demonstrating a need for change in those school communities. Whenever we see or experience such acts, we have to recognize those acts as the wake-up calls that they are--wake-up calls for change.
As I thought about these situations, I thought of times in my own life when expressions of harm, hate, anger, and discomfort arose. In the best of circumstances, expressions like that created a halt to all that was going on. We stopped, analyzed the situation, and worked to make better. In the worst of those situations, the challenge was ignored and then continued.
There has always been expressions of anger, frustration, harm, and hurt at schools, and it's time to look deeply at how the way schools are run and managed may promote this kind of behavior. This is also true for some communities that have a history of anger, frustration, hate, and harm. What might we do?
First, it seems that when people don't have what they need, they are more apt to get angry and lash out. How can we ensure that people in the communities we belong to have what they need?
Also, there are some long-held acceptable behaviors, words, and actions that need to be replaced by more loving, caring, positive words and actions. The slap incident at The Academy Awards brings to question the appropriateness of jokes about people's personal appearance and challenges as well as how to peacefully, but proactively, deal with insults. Comedians may err with their jokes, and it''s up to those in the audience to have a peaceful way to express their dissatisfaction with that--perhaps "thumbs down" becomes as popular as the clap and used to show disproval for comedic action and other performances that cross the line. Perhaps we need to be able to peacefully express dissatisfaction with as much ease as we express satisfaction.
In schools, we have to teach students the harm related to old time teasing, hazing, bullying, machoism--we have to help students unlearn these behaviors, some of which may be long-held and even promoted in some children's home and the groups they belong to. We have to teach students about the language and actions that build a more loving, connected, and positive world.
In our own lives, we have to unlearn behaviors that are harmful and hurtful, and then replace those behaviors with more loving, caring actions and words instead.
We have to do what we can to build more peaceful communities. We can do that.