In life we all experience rejection of one kind or another. One of the most painful rejections for children is the rejection they face when one or more children don't welcome their friendship. Educators spend considerable time counseling students about friendships and guiding children towards healthy friendship experiences and attitudes. Learning to be a good friend and learning that not every person is a natural friend for you is an important learning goal for children.
Another common rejection is that rejection you receive when you apply or try out for a program, award, team or event. I remember when I tried out for a team in high school and I was not chosen. Many of my friends were chosen. It was a painful event for me. Later in high school, I was not accepted into my first choice for college. That was not as painful a rejection since I wasn't that invested in the choice, and I was accepted to a great college which I later enrolled in. Some rejections are more painful than others for all kinds of reasons.
When seeking a first job or new job, most people face a lot of rejection before they land a good job. And with relationships, there is rejection too.
Rejection is not always associated with an all-or-nothing scenario. Rejection can morph into a different situation. A relative recently rejected a job offer, but then was asked to play a different role in the company. He accepted the second offer as that was a better fit for his needs and interests. The same can be true for relationships or teams. A relationship you hoped to be one way may turn out to be another way, and your desired role on a team may turn out to be another role.
Rejection is often hard to face. It can sometimes feel like a rock being thrown at you. At other times, the rejection may be easier. As an educator who applied for many grants and opportunities, I got used to rejections--I had about a 50/50 rejection/acceptance rate. I recognized that the grants and opportunities I was applying for were competitive, so I expected a fair amount of rejection. I found that the more I applied for, the more I got used to rejection and was pleased with the acceptances I did received.
Rejection in relationships can lead one to re-evaluate a relationship. If you want to maintain the friendship, you may have to rethink how that friendship works. For example, one time long ago, a good friend made a dramatic change in her lifestyle. Before that we were very close, but after that, our friendship made some dramatic shifts. She didn't give up on me and I didn't give up on her--we weathered the change and are still good friends today. If you're willing to do the work to revise your friendship, there's a chance you can retain the friendship. On the other hand, there have been times when a friend or I were unwilling to revise our friendships and those friendships dissolved.
Rejection is part of life. Rejection sends us in one direction rather than another, and rejection, when handled well, is a an energy source for reflection and revision. Onward.