Sometimes we avoid situations because of fear. At times that fear is warranted and at times the fear is not warranted. How can we know the difference?
I thought about this when my first reaction to an invitation recently was fear? Why was I afraid to accept the invitation--what did I think would happen? In general, I was fearful of contempt in the situation--in the past similar invitations have brought me to places where the climate was uncomfortable, hurtful, worrisome, and I didn't want to endure that.
Years ago, I was invited to a beautiful location for an evening party, but the people hosting the party often acted without good sense. I was always afraid to attend parties with those people because I was always afraid someone would get hurt. Hence, I didn't accept the invitation and never looked back. I was more at peace not attending such an event.
The recent invitation incited the same fear and worry in me--I didn't want to be in an unsafe space, so I didn't accept the invitation. What specifically was I afraid of, and were those fears warranted? Perhaps yes and perhaps no, but I think it was best to not take the invitation now, do a little more research, and make a more educated choice moving forward.
Our fears come from many places including the experiences we've had, the information we've read, anticipation, values, hopes and dreams.
This morning I spoke to a friend who expressed a sense of fear and discomfort with a new situation. Were his fears well founded--again, perhaps yes and perhaps no. My friend and I will continue to discuss this situation, look at the facts and experience, and make a decision whether to continue to pursue this arrangement or not.
It is important to take time to reflect on our fears and to understand where those fears come from. Sometimes we may decide to push against our fears, and act or partake in a situation even though we are fearful, and sometimes we will decide that our fears are warranted saving us from a situation that could be dangerous or destructive.