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| We have to improve the way we serve and care for the outliers in life. Rather than see them as outcasts, we have to find ways to acknowledge their gifts and fulfill their essential needs in positive ways. |
In society, most people hover around the mean of being--they're similar in many ways thus creating no big problems or worries, but in every sector of society there are those who fall far from the mean. These outliers pose challenges to society. Who are they and what do they need?
The range of people who fall far from the mean is great. They may be people with critical physical or cognitive issues or people who fall at the extreme ends of the intelligence continuum--very smart and very limited people. There are also those whose life experiences have been greatly privileged or greatly harmed. And those who simply don't make sense and operate in ways that people don't understand or know what to do with.
At times, people who fall far from the mean get exactly what they need. People love them. People strive to understand them and fulfill their needs. When people who fall far from the mean have what they need, they contribute to society in ways that are meaningful and pleasing to themselves and others.
However, when people who fall far from the mean are ostracized, abused, neglected, and misdirected, they may become problematic, hateful, or hurtful outcasts.
What can we do about this?
As an educator, I had students who fell far from the mean. I knew that those students had the potential of being mistreated, misunderstood, neglected and harmed. I took a special interest in those students and tried to figure out how I could make their experience of life and contribution positive. For example, once I had an exceptionally bright student who was magnificently creative. I tried to acknowledge his brilliance and potential with him and give him avenues to express and strengthen those gifts. I followed another teacher's lead in widening the parameters of expectation as well as sensitivity for this child, and stood up for him when others wanted to hold him to tight, suffocating rules that squashed his intellect and ability. It was a joy to work with such a talented child. In another situation, I had a student who was very, very angry. Turns out that he had a unique profile that made him difficult to parent and teach. The more I understood the child, the more I was able to work with the parents and counselors to support the child in positive, life affirming ways, ways that would hopefully translate to a confident, positive teen and adult.
There were situations where I wasn't able to make the kind of difference I wanted to. Once we had a very challenged student who appeared to display behaviors related to severe mental illness. Multiple school staff members tried to help this child and his family. Yet, his behaviors at home spiraled down and the child ended up in a mental health facility. After that he moved from the district and later on I heard that he became a criminal and threat to society. This child appeared to be ill from a very early age--it's unclear whether his illness upset the family or the family created his illness. This was a sad situation.
For the most part, however, at the school system where I taught, great energy was used to teach every child well no matter whether they landed close to the mean or far from it. There was a multi-service, whole child perspective used when it came to serving students and their families. We wanted every child to succeed in ways that made them feel included, confident, and capable. For example when one child came out as transgender, teachers worked lovingly to support the child and educate the other children in ways that acknowledged and affirmed the child's choice. This was a great experience for the transgender child as well as her classmates.
It was never perfect however. There was always more we could do to help children and families. This was particular true when it came to children and families who faced extensive economic, physical, or social issues--issues that made life tough.
How can we help those who fall far from the mean in society? What can we do?
Ask people what they want and need
First, we must always reach out to those people and ask them what they want and what they need. People generally know what will help them.
Be wary of grouping people too widely
Next, we have to be careful about how we group people--for example, right now in Tennessee, they want to cluster all homeless people into one group. That's a mistake because people who are homeless are homeless for a number of reasons. They would be better off looking at the homeless situation with a closer look at who is homeless and why. We know that many homeless people have addiction issues. Others are societal outcasts for all kinds of reasons. Some have PSTD and some have never had a good home or ability to live a good life. When we are too quick to group people under one umbrella, we lose the opportunity to understand people in need well and help them to get what they need.
Understand rather than judge
We have to be wary of judging people who fall far from the mean. Instead we should seek to understand those people.
Research, learn, seek solutions
We must support research that helps us to understand people who fall far from the mean and look for ways to help them. For example, we still haven't solved the grave addiction issues that occur in society--addiction isolates and harms people. With greater research, I believe we can solve this issue.
Don't ignore the needs at hand
We can't ignore issues that relate to those who fall far from the mean--when we ignore the issues, they just grow greater. Clearly, those committing massacres have big issues and in most cases those people were ignored and isolated--this, in part, led to the massacres.
Increase social services, education, and health supports
We have to increase social service and health supports for people in need. We also have to look at the underlying causes of such struggle. Jobs that have unreasonable expectations and low pay have a trickle down negative effect on family life. Racism and prejudice also negatively affects who we are and what we can be in society. There are other antecedents in place too that adversely affect families--we have to change that and provide the supports and society that helps families thrive.
Create environments that bring out the best of people, not the worst
The environment can positively or negatively affect lives. Access to deadly weapons, harmful drugs, negative advertising, deadly misinformation and propaganda creates greater struggle in society, greater struggle that affects outliers more. Also communities that are laden with pollution, no green spaces, lack of accessible health care, nutritious foods, quality education/childcare, healthy recreation, good homes and adequate social agencies prevent the good possible and exasperate the negative.
We have to pay attention to those who fall far from the mean in society--we have to help them sooner than later in the ways we can. That's one way to create a better society. We can do this.