As we live, we make mistakes, and hopefully we learn from those errors as we move along life's path. As I focus on relationships this week, I've thought of relationship errors I have made. Most times the errors arose from situations where I had no previous experience--first-time situations where I had to do the best I could under the new circumstances. Sometimes I acted just right and other times I erred. Only once was the error intentional, and every other time, it was an unexpected misstep, a true error of judgement, choice, words, and/or action.
As I think of the errors past, I am reminded that no matter what we do, if our ultimate decision is to choose peace, we will be well directed. Yet, there are many levels to peace. One might choose a level of peace that avoids any conflict, debate, or discussion--this peace may be good for a short time, but ultimately lead to greater discord and troubles in the long run. Therefore peace at one level may not be peace at another level. Peace is a subjective word, concept, and reality.
Yet, if we aim our lives towards greater peace, I believe we will live well. As I think about this, I remember a time when I stirred emotions vigorously in order to gain a greater level of peace in my classroom. I felt that decision made at the leadership level were causing great discontent with students. I wanted there to be the kind of change that served students better. I was emphatic and emotional in ways that some found to be disruptive rather than peaceful. Looking back, my argument could have been much more strategic and calm, but my purpose was good. I had not learned the skills of apt advocacy, and didn't exactly know how to go about making needed change at that time. Looking back, I wish I had those skills at that time and I also wish that those I was advocating to cared enough to listen, help out, and work with me instead of creating great obstruction to new ideas--ideas that were well founded and well directed with regard to students' benefits.
So while we may desire and choose peace, we won't always achieve peace because peace has many levels and there's skill to working for the kind of peace that enriches and uplifts lives. I believe peace requires skill since many in society today have the mindset that peace isn't possible. Instead, many hold tight to competitive models of life where some live well and others don't. These mental models include a world where it's impossible for everyone to live well, a model where diversity is looked down on while sameness is embraced. I believe this is an errant model as I do believe we have enough to go around in ways that enrich lives, and I also believe that similar to all natural environments, diversity is our strength and necessary to our survival.
So, at this juncture, I choose peace, and peace now is a recipe including these ingredients:
- The belief that a good life for all is possible.
- The understanding that we all walk different paths in life, and that reality means we will all see life somewhat differently.
- The choice to never knowingly back individuals who work against human rights--individuals who rather than work for peace, instead promote greater hatred, harm, hurt, divide, bigotry, and cruelty.
- The knowledge that to understand and serve life in ways that care for children and vulnerable first, is a sure path to a more peaceful society.
- To know and exemplify the truth that actions speak louder than words.
- To continue learning and be willing to revise your beliefs, attitudes, and actions when learning points you in new directions.
- The willingness to apologize.
- The ability to wish the best for people you disagree with.
- The quest for peaceful ways to bring people together, solve conflicts, and rid the world of evil, destructive, hurtful, deadly leaders.
- To value honesty and refrain from lies, propaganda, manipulation, and exaggeration.
- To value the diverse gifts, cultures, geography, religions, and ways of living and loving that people exemplify in life.
- To recognize that change happens, and to accept changes, good and bad, with gratitude, an open mind, and as much love as possible.