Amidst the strife of life, create moments of joy. That joy will bring happiness to tough situations as well as to you because to create joy is to experience joy--the joy of others and your own joy too.
I struggled with a situation that brought me strife. I wanted to run from the sadness I felt as I experienced the struggle, yet when I changed the tone of my voice and sought to see the good in the struggle, I was able to bring some joy to the moment--joy that not only brought some reprieve to those involved, but joy that changed the way I felt too.
As I think of this moment, I'm thinking about how I might strive to bring that kind of joy more often to moments of strife and stress. What can I do?
In the moment I describe above, my words simply encouraged and praised a positive action--the kind of action that lifts a person's capacity and contribution. "Good job, that really helps," I said, and in turn, the person I was talking to stood a little taller, smiled and continued to help out. All she needed was a little encouragement and acknowledgement--something she rarely gets these days.
So, specifically, how can I alter my support in the kinds of small ways that build greater capacity, confidence, and joy?
Questioning
Even if we think we know what's best, we build people's confidence, capacity, and joy when we ask them to lead us in our support and help. What would you like? How can I help? Where should I put this? What are your plans today? are simple questions that put those we love and care about in the leadership role when it comes to daily living. This is so much better than projecting what people need and want or dictating their actions.
Acknowledgement
Simply acknowledging good words, acts, and efforts demonstrate to people that you're paying attention and regarding them with care. These acknowledgements when done with earnest essentially say, I see you, I know you are there, you matter. Everyone likes to be acknowledged.
Engagement
Finding meaningful projects and activities that you can do together, brings engagement and positive engagement generally brings joy.
Novelty
Something new can brighten up a same-old-same-old routine. A new piece of clothing, flower arrangement, table setting, food, chair cover or anything else that brightens up people's lives can bring joy.
Rethinking and revising routines
As life changes so must our routines. Routines that were once positive and helpful, may not work effectively anymore. That's when it's time to change in ways that creates more joy.
In tough situations, it's easy to become sad and inactive, but when we focus our attention and energy on creating moments of joy, we can lift those situations in positive, life affirming, energizing ways. Onward.