I've been married for 34 years--that's a long time. Only my relationship with my parents and other family members is longer than that. Today, I'm thinking about those 34 years.
I met my husband 42 years ago when the two of us worked at The Balsams, a fancy New Hampshire resort located in Dixville Notch. A good friend of mine suggested that the two of us work at that resort for the summer. I was looking for something different that summer so I traveled up there in the spring to apply for the job, and when they offered me the waitressing job, I took it.
My parents drove me up to the resort in late May. Mike, my husband, had not arrived yet since he was on a school-related European tour. I heard a lot about him during those early days at the resort and thought, "He's one guy I'm not going to fall in love with" since he was so popular and well-liked. I didn't want to be part of his fan club.
Yet, when he arrived I was quickly drawn to his adventurous energy, curly hair, big smile and kind ways. He was a catalyst for exploration and fun which led to late night skinny dipping, sleeping out on mountain edges, swimming in waterfall pools, tubing down the river rapids, playdays in Montreal and Sherbrook, ice cream in the social room, and sneaking through the hotel tunnels to attend evening films. The resort work was busy--we served breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Sometimes we also served lunch at the golf club too. Mike was a great support as I learned the job and attended to the guests' many requests. We became good friends.
Over time and throughout Mike's many adventures as a college student, beer-server at Houston's Astrodome, Peace Corp volunteer in the Philippines, hospital worker, public health student and employee, Mike and I remained friends and eventually began to date. After many years, my dad suggested we marry, and we took him up on his suggestion and got married eight years after we met. Our marriage from start to now has always been marked by many shared interests including get-togethers with friends and family, beach and mountain trips, biking, hiking, travel and countless celebrations.
Our first big trip was a city/country trip up to the Gaspe Peninsula, home to Mike's ancestors. Our honeymoon was a wonderful adventure to Paris, then Turkey including a day at the island of Kos in Greece too. It was a remarkable adventure. After that we visited Ireland. Then we began having our family--three sons over nine years, and when the boys were of a good age, we resumed adventuring beyond New England. The boys' busy high school and college years found us at many sports and school events while we paid college tuitions. Those years flew by. Now we're officially empty nesters resuming some of the adventuring we did before children while still finding ways to stay close to our young adult sons and their loved ones.
There's many reasons why we're still close after all these years. We share many of the same interests as well as a deep love and commitment to family. We're a good team that respects each other's individual interests and pursuits and enjoys the interests and pursuits we share such as our home and yard, family events, adventure, and travel. We've relied on each other's strengths time and again when we met individual and collective challenges. The worst of those challenges was when one of my sons almost died due to cerebral malaria--we were fortunate to have each other as well as a strong family team when we encountered that dark chapter. Fortunately our son survived thanks to the brilliance and dedication of medical and public health professionals.
No matter what the future brings, I will always be grateful for the wonderful 34 years we've had together. Of course, I wish for many more years and am looking forward to what this "empty nest" chapter will bring. Marriage can be defined in many unique ways depending on the couple. For us, I'd say that it has been a deep and trusting friendship marked by wonderful intimacy and a great love of family, adventure, home and care. Onward.