As life changes, so do our traditions. Yet, we don't want to give up on tried-and-true traditions too quickly. What do we hold on to and what do we revise or eliminate?
I thought of this with regard to my changing family. As our lives and families grow and change, there's a need to update our traditions. What worked for a family of grade-school kids often doesn't work for a family of adults or an extended family of multiple ages. How can we update traditions in ways that retain the warmth and joy that make family traditions meaningful as well as ensuring that people are comfortable, included and acknowledged?
As I looked at the year ahead, I thought a lot about this knowing that it's impossible to plan for the many changes to family life ahead--with a big family, the only constant is change.
Invite all, expect some
With great big families, it's almost impossible to get everyone together due to countless schedules and responsibilities. So if you invite all, you can expect some to come.
Query family members
The best events rely on input from those attending. Finding out what others want to do and how they'd like to contribute. When everyone has some input, the events typically go better.
Loose-tight schedules
The best events have loose-tight schedules. Scheduling a few events where everyone or most try to attend and then leaving lots of room in the schedule for people to do their own things seems to work well for big groups. I remember years ago at a great family reunion where we met for dinners each evening, but did our own thing during the day. That left room for all the different age groups and family styles to find activities that met their needs during the day, and then at night when we met for dinner we all told our stories of the day and more well into the night. Fortunately it was a location where the children could move around freely and play while the adults relaxed.
Signature events
Adding a few signature events to the get-togethers creates wonderful shared times and good memories that bring us closer. Typically those shared events require some prep and planning for safety, space, and good preparation.
Simple foods
Times when I've tried too hard to make the just right foods have often failed in the food category. Preparing meals-to-share that include a variety of simple, nutritious, easy-to-serve-and-prepare foods is usually best for a large crowd.
Lead time
If you want people to come in today's world, you typically need a good amount of lead time given the busy schedules most people have.
Affordable
With big families, you typically have a variety of income levels and you don't want money to get in the way of everyone getting together. Generally maintaining traditions that are affordable means the events will be more relaxed and well attended.
Inspiring
Hosting events at inspiring, warm, and welcoming places provides the right ambiance for wonderful traditions. Inspiring, warm, and welcoming doesn't translate to fancy or expensive. For example, a campsite with a beautiful vista could be the perfect meet-up spot.
So as I think about the traditions ahead, I'll be mindful of these features so that we can continue a strong tradition of family/friend meet-ups, celebrations, and get togethers in the days ahead.