I was off kilter for a personal reason recently. The reason had to do with a minor medical procedure that altered my typical energy and temperament. The situation wasn't worth discussing because of how minor it was and because I didn't need to burden others with it, yet people recognized I wasn't myself so I had to give a brief synopsis. The reason I relay this story is because the event reminded me of the fact that people carry around all kinds of personal mysteries that affect who they are and what they do--mysteries that they choose not to share for all kinds of reasons, and when we interact with people, we have to remember that there are layers within them we know nothing about. We have to respect that.
I was reminded of this fact again recently when I casually asked a new acquaintance a common question. His answer was quick, brief and uncomfortable. Obviously this simple question connected to a life experience the individual didn't want to share--a life experience I later found out was sad and disruptive. He clearly didn't want to relay the information. I'm not sure why, but I respect his decision. It is a mystery he carries around that he does not want to readily share, a mystery he doesn't want to be characterized by.
We all have mystery about us. The mystery could be facts and stories related to our experiences in life, errors we've made, relationships we've had, or dreams we hold. We don't have to share all aspects of ourselves with others, and holding on to some information can be a just right decision at times.
Though some mysteries that we hold can damage us. Even though we think it's best to not burden others with our mysteries, we may be missing out on needed empathy, camaraderie, knowledge and care that sharing those mysteries would bring to us.
To share or not to share--each of us has to decide what to do when it comes to our most personal stories and situations. And as we relate to others, we have to realize that everyone is making that decision about the most personal aspects of who they are and how they live. We have to respect that in ourselves and in others too. Onward.