What does it mean to age with grace? How do we do that? What exemplars are there in our families, communities and society at large for us to follow. More people are living longer than in times past, and more older people are living better than in the past too. Yet, do people know how to age with grace?
I thought of this today as I have many relatives in their late 80's and early 90's. I'm watching them make multiple decisions as they age, and I'm thinking about which of those decisions I'd like to emulate and which I'd rather not follow.
One of my aunts made a good decision to move to a small apartment in a an elderly housing complex. She didn't choose a fancy place though she probably could have, but instead chose a familiar, cozy, local spot that she felt comfortable with. The place provides meals when she wants them. There's also good company and a number of helpful assists such as transportation, nearby shops, and some additional help on the premises. My aunt's choice has given her a lot of freedom as well as providing her family with the comfort of knowing she's in a safe place with the kinds of supports that elevate her independence.
Some of my older relatives have chosen to stay in their homes. This choice brings them comfort, yet there isn't the level of comfort or peace that my aunt experiences. It is a bit frightening to watch these relatives navigate their days in their home without the capacity to do all that they used to do. When elderly people stay in their own home, they choose the comfort of the familiar, but do lose some of the sociability, assists and independence that an elderly complex might provide.
Then there are those that move in with family members. Living with family members can be a win-win for the elderly person and the family they live with as they can support each other. This works best when there is a close, loving and trusting relationship amongst those living together.
Of all the scenarios, no one situation is perfect, but if I had to choose, I would probably follow in my aunt's footsteps as that would cause less worry for my family members and provide me with the independence that I like. Yet, we never know how we'll grow old--will we suffer from grave ailments, face alzheimer's or dementia, or experience financial worries? We don't really know, but in general, if we can look for ways to age as gracefully and simply as possible, I think that's best for all concerned. Onward.