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| It's good to know the objectives of the care you provide and keeping a sign with those objectives can help you to stay true to them. |
My extended family has been collaborating around the care for my elderly parents. I've learned a lot throughout this collaborative period. It's not easy to collaborate to care for the elderly in the United States today because in many ways this is a new pursuit in our culture. When my parents were young, it was rare for their parents and their parents' contemporaries to live long lives, so there wasn't as great a need for so many good agencies and care environments, but now with many elderly people in our country, there is a need to formalize the way we care for our older citizens more--we need more readily available and affordable care paths to help out.
During the past two years, these are some of the lessons I've learned:
The vision for right care differs from person to person
It is rare for two people to have a similar vision for what good care looks like. It is much more common for people to have differing ideas about what good care looks like, and these differing visions can make collaboration difficult. It is not that one person's vision is better or worse than another's, but simply different. So when collaborating, it is important to regard everyone's vision with respect and work to find the common denominators.
There are good agencies and supports out there, but it takes time to access those agencies and supports
Good agencies and supports exist, but it's not easy to access those agencies and supports. It takes time, money, analysis and oversight. The fact that the system is confusing to navigate makes good care hard to get and likely makes it both inefficient and more costly too.
Do what you can, don't tell others what to do
The greatest challenge with coordinating care is that no one can do it all. No one can do it all because it's very time consuming and requires skill too. Many of us have not been trained to care for our senior citizens with the sensitivity and skill they require and this is why professional care is optimal. And due to the fact that everyone has their own set of standards, expectations, and obligations, you can't tell others what to do. Instead, you have to let people make their own choices about what and how they'll participate in the care.
Learn as much as you can
The more you know, the better you'll be able to collaborate and provide the care needed. There are lots of good resources out there where you can get the information you need to best care for the elderly in your midst. Be curious, learn and find out what you need to know to best help the elderly you love and care for.
Don't be a martyr
No one likes a martyr--instead do what you think is right, express your opinion, and be satisfied. If you try to guilt people into helping out, there will be no hope of good collaboration and care. Again, everyone on the care team has their own vision and set of expectations and obligations--people will do what they can and that's all you can expect. While good coordination amongst all collaborators is ideal, I've come to learn that rarely is the case due to numerous real-life factors.
Know the objective and mission
Always keep the central focus of your work upfront--know why you are doing what you are doing and the main objective of that work. Sometimes it helps to make a sign to lead your efforts--just looking at that sign will help you to stay on course as you do this sometimes arduous and emotionally challenging work.
Respect
Always do your work with respect, kindness, good manners and love. Don't deviate. Onward.