I noticed an individual making lots of hard choices simply to carve out a life for herself--she wanted to live freely, she wanted to break the bonds that held her to a mold that wasn't natural for her. How many times have we witnessed people acting harshly or strongly simply to be who they are? Why does this happen and what are the effects of this kind of effort?
Early in my life I witnessed an individual who constantly tried to break free from the life he had. I noticed that the structures he was relegated to didn't fit who he was, what he wanted or his natural energy. This created a cacophony of struggle which impacted many beyond the individual. Experiencing this made me want to parent in a way that helped me be curious about my children in order to match their lives to the people they were becoming. I didn't parent with fixed notions about who they would become but instead a sense of curiosity and trial-and-error with regard to what they engaged in, who they gravitated towards, and their life's choices.
When people are trapped, they get angry and frustrated. They want to break lose and naturally find out who they are and what they want to be. Figuring this out is a lifelong process, yet if we take a good look at the people we love, listen to their words, hear and observe their longings, talents, energy and way of being, they'll discover themselves sooner.
Trapping people early in environments, opportunities and life ways that don't match who they are does no one any good. Instead it's best to free people in responsible ways to figure out who they are and what they want to do. When we do that, we help people to develop into their best possible selves and when people are their best, we all do better. Onward.