When I was young, I often asked my mom what to do, and she would often answer, "You have to make up your own mind?" That answer frustrated me, but in hindsight, I can see how her response helped me to become a more independent thinker and doer. My mom was always and still is an independent person--she essentially did what she wanted when she wanted to do it. Fortunately her independence was led by a solid set of values and beliefs. She did a lot of good for a lot of people.
In life, we will find that people often want us to tell them what to do, and in general, we're better off if we follow my mom's lead by helping people to make their own decisions about their actions. That doesn't mean we can't have input, but that input is likely best via questioning rather than directives. For example, if a person asks what he or she should do, you might respond, "What do you want to do? Why do you want to do that?" Responding with conversation versus commands can help to build individual's investment and confidence rather than allowing them to avoid the responsibility and ownership that comes with making your own decisions.
Also, when you simply tell people what to do, you take on the responsibility for their actions. They can easily blame you if the decision is a poor one. On the other hand, when you inspire people to make their own decisions, then they have ownership over that choice--they have the responsibility for the decision. Sometimes unhealthy relationships grow when one person is the commander and the other the follower. Both people end up resenting each other. The commander resents being the responsible one all the time, and the follower resents being told what to do. Instead, healthy relationships allow one another to make their own decisions and expects the conversations that go along with those decisions, conversations that discuss the pros and cons of decisions as well as providing valuable information to support a positive decision.
As parents, telling our children what to do changes over time. At first, we make many decisions for our children, but as they grow we make fewer and fewer decisions. It's a gradual release of responsibility that helps children become the responsible decision makers they can be--the kind of decision makers that do the research, consider the options, embeds their values and makes the best possible decisions. Also the kind of decision makers that accept responsibility when they make mistakes too.
For the most part, it's not a good idea for people to tell each other what to do, instead it's best to collaborate and help each other make the best possible decisions for our own lives and actions. We can do that.