We all face frustration from time to time, and if we consider our frustration, we may recognize patterns with respect to what frustrates us and how we deal with that frustration.
For me, I tend to bury frustration at the start. Rather than rightly naming the emotion and dealing with it in a strategic way, I simply deny the frustration exists. Of course that's not a good response. Instead, it's better to name frustration and figure out why that frustration exists and what you can do about it.
So as soon as you notice the hair raising on your arms and sighs coming out of your mouth, it's time to say, "I'm frustrated and that frustration is the result of _____________________."
Another common response to frustration is blame, blame is rarely a good reaction since blame tends to create a wall between you and the solution. Instead of blaming, it's better to dissect the issue figuring out exactly what's not working.
And of course, there's that urge to feel better. The desire to "feel better" may lead you to excessive actions that do no one any good. Perhaps you eat too much, drink too much or engage in another "feel good" activity that results in backward steps when it comes to good health and good living.
Frustration is an alarm that there's a need for change. This need could be a change in mindset, action, or expectation. You may need to rework your mindset to relieve the frustration. For example if you harbor old myths or prejudices, you may need to modernize your outlook and understanding in order to rid yourself of frustration. Or perhaps you repeatedly engage in activities that result in frustration. If that's the case, you have to figure out what it is about those activities and their relationship to your frustration. And too-high or too-unrealistic expectations can lead to frustration. Idealists like me can easily fall into that trap-we see the world with rosy glasses and our expectations for what people can do are too often unrealistic leading to frustration. Making expectations more realistic can relieve frustration.
So as I think about frustration, I am reminded that these steps will probably help.
First, when you feel it, name it. Say to yourself, I am clearly frustrated.
Then dissect the situation to figure out exactly what is making you frustrated. I remember way back when I'd get frustrated with my young children. I realized that part of that frustration came from guilt--I felt guilty that I couldn't and didn't do more for my children and I let that guilt feed my frustration. Once I realized that the expectations I had for myself were unreasonable, the frustration became less.
Once you've dissected the situation, make an action list that lessens or eliminates the frustration and puts you on a path to better meet the needs of the situation. Review and revise the action plan as you move along until you meet the result you're hoping for or a result you're willing to accept.
We all experience frustration in life--it's the wake-up call we get when it's time for change of some kind, the kind of change that leads us in the life ways we desire and deem valuable. Onward.