I write about the challenge of caring for self and caring for others often. I find it difficult to strike that balance since when it comes to others, I still simply want to fix the situation, make it better, get rid of the strife that exists, but as I age, I realize that in some situations we have to co-exist with less-than-ideal situations, and in those situations instead of trying to repair the situation, we have to make the situation as positive as we can.
Our will to fix or repair situations that are broken is natural, but can take us down if we're not more realistic. Rather than experience constant frustration, we have to look for what we can do to make tough situations better.
If we don't take care of ourselves, we won't be able to help anyone. For many of us, that's a tough lesson to learn. We can fool ourselves thinking we're superhuman, but in the end, that superhuman-mindset gets us in trouble when we tire out and are unavailable or unhelpful when situations require the best of us.
The care taking balance is an important balance when it comes to doing your best. How can you strike that balance in positive and productive ways--what can you do?
Prioritize
Take some time to prioritize who you are caring for--whose on the top of your list and are you making the time for those people? Are you caring for these people in ways that matter?
The Care Routine/Plan
Create a care routine and plan that ensures that care taking is a regular part of your routine and plan. Assess, review, and update that plan regularly. Make time for self care in that routine and plan too.
Celebrate the small care taking wins
Particularly in situations that are grave and unending, the wins won't be big. Instead it will be the small wins that bring the greatest satisfaction. For example, I finally found a loved one the right kind of socks--socks that are comfortable and socks that don't allow her to slip. It took me many tries to find the right ones, and now those good socks are contributing to her safety and comfort. That's a small, but valuable, win.
Focus on what people can do, not what they can't do
Focusing on people's capacity rather than their deficits is another good way to care for others. Using your own capacity and strengths to provide care is another positive focus too.
Caring for others brings great satisfaction in life. Yet that care can be frustrating at times. That frustration can be lessened if we make the time to find the balance and positivity possible.