There are times when we face situations that demand more of us than we can give. People who work in human services face this situation all the time. As an educator, this was one of the most difficult parts of the job--I could always see more than I could do, and was tasked with prioritizing all the time. I had to choose who got the attention and who had to wait. I didn't like that decision making since I wanted to do it all, but no one can do it all.
I'm facing a similar situation with regard to my parents' care. They are aging and their needs are growing more substantial. Again, I'd like to do it all, but I can't as the needs go beyond my time, skill, and capacity. I need greater support.
I'm not on my own with this as there are many members of the care taking team. Yet, we're in transition. The schedules we had in place have significantly changed, and while we have new care planned, it has not been put in place. Thus we're left with more care than we're ready and able to provide.
What can I do in a situation like this?
Well, I've shared this quandary with the care taking team? Hopefully they will have ideas about how we can navigate this difficult situation.
And, now I'll frame the situation with some kind of doable schedule that enables me to do what I can in positive, loving, caring ways. What will help this framing process?
The knowledge that the issue I'm facing is one shared by most families today. At present, caring for elderly family members is difficult for most families. My own parents faced this situation with my grandparents. There's no easy solution for lots of reasons. First of all, end-of-life presents itself in many varied ways. No two families have exactly the same scenario. What is the same for all families is the emotional and physical challenges these situations present. End-of-life is never easy. So, I need to see this situation with the perspective that this is a part of life everyone faces in one way or another.
The fact that my parents were loving parents who cared for me throughout life. I want to be there for them at this challenging time.
The realization that I've become my parents' caretaker. The roles are greatly reversed. Their capacity to care for themselves is greatly reduced due to a large number of factors. They need me and the rest of the care taking team, and we have to use the best of our abilities and capacities to care for them.
The truth that no person is super human and doing what you can is far better than doing nothing at all, so figure out what you can do, and do that.
Also, knowing that everyone on the team will do what they can, and I have to respect that. None of us can do it all.
A long time ago, I watched a busy colleague do what she could in every situation that occurred in school. Rather than lamenting that she couldn't do it all, she did what she could and that action made a significant impact on the school community. In this situation, I'll follow her lead. Onward.