In life, we meet up with people, events, and realities that are hard to love. In fact, these people, events, and realities may even repulse us. When that happens, what do you do?
Typically when I meet up with situations or people like that, I try to get underneath my repulsion. I think why do I feel that way--why am I immediately repulsed?
When I get underneath it, I uncover some good information, information that often falls into one of these categories:
- Novelty: It is the first time I've encountered the situation, and it doesn't feel comfortable or good.
- Fear: Will this happen to me?
- Society's Norms: Right or wrong, I've been taught to reject this by society's norms
- Instinct: My instinct rejects this because it's unhealthy, hurtful, problematic to my survival
- Prejudice and Ignorance: I've been taught to reject this, I don't understand this and misjudge.
- Lack of Confidence: This challenges who I am, what I've accomplished, my desires
Once I figure out why something is hard to love, I can redirect my perspective. For example, if a situation is hard to love because it is unhealthy, I may work to create a healthier situation. If I don't love it because I don't understand it or have some underlying prejudices, research can enlighten me and help me to embrace and love the situation.
And there may be times, when a lack of love is all the right thing because the person, place or situation is truly harmful for you. It may be okay to lack love then as that's a way to stay safe and direct your life in positive ways.
So when you face a hard-to-love person, place, or event, get underneath it. Figure out why that's the case, then reset your perspective if that's the right thing to do.