When you come from a very large family like I do, you realize that there are many, many differing ways to live your life. That experience and knowledge challenges you to think deeply about the many choices made as well as the choices you make. As you observe others and learn about their life paths, you may ask yourself these questions:
- Would I do that?
- Is that where I want to go?
- Does that choice match my values, interests, and/or reality?
The choices by others, in many ways, inspire and inform your own choices in life.
Recently a number of choices made by friends and family members related to a similar topic made me think deeply. Would I choose as they did? Why or why not? The situation isn't a simple matter and as with many situations, there are many right answers that relate to multiple life circumstances. My initial reaction was to judge what others chose, but I cautioned myself about that since I certainly didn't know all about their personal circumstances and why they were choosing what they chose. So I reverted back to myself and my choice. I thought about my values, advantages, and life's long road--that helped me to make a choice I'm satisfied with, and a choice that I believe is the right choice for me, my life, and my family. I remember a wise Jesuit saying once, that if you give choices the care and attention they deserve, once you make the choice, you have to then make sure you support that choice and make it a right choice. So, with regard to this situation, I have to do the work necessary to make sure the well thought out choice I made is successful and well-directed. I can do that.
People make countless similar and dissimilar choices in life, and we have to respect that as long as those choices don't outwardly and grossly harm another person or our planet in significant ways. The more we give people the room to be who they are and to live the unique and wonderful lives that call them, the more full and satisfied we will all be. To be fully yourself is to be able to more fully support and contribute to the lives of others in meaningful and significant ways.
As I pondered the multiple avenues available to me today, I recognized that there are many attractive paths to take. I could see myself living a large number of lifestyles in positive ways these days, yet when I prioritize who and what is most important to me, the paths I choose become more clear. Now, the paths I am choosing are more narrow in scope since the people I am dedicated to are my top priority and what I can do for them has little to do with the big picture of life, but more to do with what I can do to support them at this time.
In some ways, this choice feels too-small and insignificant, but in my heart, I know it is the right choice now. For a long time, I spread myself thin with great inspiration and dedication--at the time, that felt like the perfect choice for me, but now the perfect choice is more about deep commitment to a few people and events rather than a broad commitment as in the past.
There are many ways to live.
Give people the space and support to live their best lives.
Don't judge or get in the way unless harm or danger to others or the planet is involved.
We all profit from the great diversity of life choices, and when we embrace that diversity, we have the opportunity to become more than just ourselves since we can live vicariously and more fully via the experiences and choices of others. That is why we need to support the wonderful diversity of choices that exist. Onward.