I've long been troubled by vandalism of any kind. I hate to see people break and ruin any item or place that people count on or work so hard to make and maintain. Typically those who vandalize have little respect for the hard work and investment of others, and typically those that do the hard work are everyday people working vigorously to pay their bills and live as good a life as possible.
So, yesterday while shopping in a quiet, nearby store, I spoke up when I saw an act of vandalism. At first I spied what looked like a mischievous 14- or 15-year old boy moving from place to place in the store. He was a handsome, well-dressed young man. I figured he was there bored and shopping with his mom so he was fooling around a bit. I'm the mother of three young men. None of them like to shop and sometimes when I'd bring them to a store with me, they'd fool around a bit, so I didn't think too much about it. Later, though, I saw the boy seem to shoot a toy gun. Again, I thought he was pretending so I it didn't bother me, but then a small tennis ball landed at my feet and when I looked up, I saw the boy elated at his shot. I let it go again, but then picked up the ball and decided to speak up to store management. As I walked towards the front of the store, I saw the broken Nerf gun box that the ball belonged to and realized that not only did the boy shoot the toy gun, but he also broke the box and then put the gun down in the wrong spot. That was not only vandalism, but harmful fooling around too. What if the ball hit a little child or elderly person--that could have hurt someone.
On the way to the front of the store, I saw the boy laughing with his friends. It looked like they were about to destroy more store property, so I said, "Boys, come with me." I walked them up to the front of the store, and told the manager what they were doing. I also explained to the boys that people work hard to make toys like that, package them, and work at stores, and when they damage the goods, that is an affront to hard working people who don't make a lot of money. I told the store manager I thought the boys should be kicked out of the store for vandalism. One boy in the group tried to explain that he didn't shoot the toy gun, and I replied that he didn't stop it either. The manager apologized to me and did kick the boys out of the store. Later the two who were not shooting the toy gun, came back made their purchase and left. They spied me nervously. I didn't say anything more as it was clear they knew their friend had done the wrong thing.
I was shook after the incident as was my relative who was with me. A couple of older women in the store, one a shopper and one a clerk, spoke to me with gratitude for speaking up. I noted that privilege unchecked can be very dangerous. The young boy who was shooting the toy gun might not do it again--perhaps he learned a lesson and will think about it. If he was left to cause such harm without consequence, perhaps that harm would escalate the next time. Also, as a mom of sons, I would hope people would speak up to my sons if they were making a poor choice. That's how they learn and that's how they stay on a good path rather than a bad one. I do believe it takes a village to help children grow up in positive ways.
This isn't the first time I've spoken up in a public place when children have been doing the wrong thing or are in danger in some way. I think it's better to speak up than let someone get hurt or get away with damaging places or hurting others. Later, after leaving the store, I thought, what if that had been a real gun--how would I have acted then, and could that boy be playing out a deadly fantasy. I don't know, but the thought frightened me.
As teens branch out on their own, their parents won't be there to guide their way all the time, and that's why the community has to help out. Clearly, this boy has a tendency to bully and be mischievous to a fault--he needs some direction, and will likely get it at school, via friends, and elsewhere. Hopefully his two bystander buddies learned a lesson too--they were letting their friend get away with his dangerous behavior. Perhaps they won't simply stand by and let it happen next time.
What would you have done? Would you let privilege like that go unchecked or would you speak up? I'm curious. It would be interesting to discuss this scenario with students at school to see what they would do. I always provided students with a lesson about vandalism early in the school year. I made the connection that money spent to clean up and repair acts of vandalism was money lost for field trips, playground equipment, and more positive attributes to school life. Onward.