As a young mother, I sometimes found it difficult to figure out what my children needed. As I became more experienced with parenting, I was better able to comfort a cranky, unhappy child. I knew what they needed.
Sometimes it is difficult to figure out what a person needs. If a person at any age is acting uncomfortable, unhappy, angry, frustrated, or lethargic, you may want to help out. Of course, the first course of action is usually to ask the question, How can I help? Yet, often when people display needs, they themselves don't really know what's going on--they don't know what they need. When this happens, it takes some detective work to figure out what an individual needs.
Trapped
Sometimes people simply feel trapped. They forget that they have lots of choices in the situation. For example if they're overwhelmed by work, they forget that they can prioritize and focus on the top three priorities leaving the rest to another time. Or if they're worried about a loved one, they might not realize what they already do for that person--they may have too-high expectations for themselves. And, if they're mired in a personal struggle, they might not realize it's time for expert help via seeing the doctor, counselor, or financial advisor for help. Generally, when people are trapped, they need to figure out what they can do in the situation and they have to realize that they have choices to make.
Suffering
When people are suffering, comfort helps. There's often no way to eradicate suffering, but you can find ways to comfort when suffering related to lost loved ones, health problems, betrayal or break-ups happen.
Space
Sometimes what people need more than anything else is space--space to think, sleep, relax, and simply get perspective. If the person is a young mom or dad, perhaps you could take their children for a weekend. If it's a person who simply doesn't want to talk, you may want to refrain from calling them for a week or so. If a person needs space, find ways to give them space.
Affirmation
People who work or live in places that provide little positive feedback may simply need affirmation related to the good work they do in life.
Help
People tasked with too much to do may need help. You may provide the help yourself or hire someone to help out. When I had a new baby once, my husband's work hired a helper to cook for our family for a few days. The help was so appreciated giving me some wonderful time to spend with my baby and husband. There's countless ways to provide help.
We all know when a loved one needs something, but we won't always know exactly what they need. Taking the time to carefully listen and observe will give us clues as to how to help out, and then when we help out, we'll help our loved one to live a better, more fulfilling life. Onward.